Sunday, October 27, 2013

Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans
October 15

Three levels of 'love'.

Narcissistic...

"You are an object to get love from."

Result: exploitation, violence.

Co-dependent...DAMION... as I am always disappointing you.

"You are the person to get love from."

Result: Expectations disappointed.

Interdependent...

"I am love."

Result: The liberation to give and receive love.

Melanie Tonia Evans
October 14
Is it self-absorbed or selfish to commit to your own inner journey, and decide to partner yourself determinedly with self-acceptance, self-healing and self-love?

Consider this....

What lens does someone view and relate to themselves, life and others when they are emotionally anchored in their childhood wounds, which they have created defence mechanisms around and disowned through addictions and reactive victimised behaviour? DAMION. Since it seems that EVERY women EVER in your life, and you proceed to list your mother, sisters and ex... are bitchy, carry baggage and have controlled your life with these things... or so you have convinced yourself. Guess what. ONLY YOU MAKE YOUR CHOICES. All they ever had the power to do was offer you more to choose from but YOU chose. YOU. YOU. YOU. Until you own that you will never, ever, have anything or appreciate anything good in your life. You will ALWAYS enter relationships with everyone with animosity that the new person has not earned. Therefore dooming ALL chances at a good and balanced life with another person.

What lens does someone view and relate to themselves, life and others when they have healed these inner wounds and are anchored into and responding as their loving adult self?

Which person would you like to be and have in your life loving you?

Melanie Tonia Evans
October 6
People can struggle to realise what 'feeling your pain' productively is really about.

There is an incredible difference between creating transformation and healing as a result of meeting your inner wounds, or crying and raging often without any inner focus or change.

The first process is claiming your wounds with the intent to evolve into self-love, the second version means being your wounds.
Melanie Tonia Evans
October 2
It appears as if the thing or person in your face is what is causing your distress...

But truly, truly what is 'up' for you is often something very, very old that has been trapped inside you for a long, long time.

Changing this person or thing is not your solution

Cleaning up your old hurt is...
Melanie Tonia Evans
September 27
The two extremes of relationship…

A 'cell mate', or a 'soul mate'.

The 'cell-mate' is a relationship attracted and created from the wounded part of the child within - the trying to gain what you did not receive from one or both parents.

The 'soul-mate' is a relationship attracted and created from the adult part of yourself who has taken responsibility for dealing with those inner wounds, and no longer expects someone else to fix them.

The part of you who has re-parented yourself, and therefore knows how to be authentic love, sharing and co-creating.

It's Not About You

When they're cornered, emotional abusers, sociopaths, and other cowards will always return to their signature line: "I can't help the way I am, why can't you be more compassionate?"

We've heard it from our ex partners, self-proclaimed psychopaths on this forum, and now books like Confessions of a Sociopath. They believe themselves to be victims, and it is our fault for choosing not to understand them.

But that's exactly the problem: we do understand them.

As awareness continues to spread, this is only going to escalate. Psychopaths need a way to shift the fast-growing dialog, and so they are casting themselves as eternal victims. Not surprisingly, they pin the blame on "normal" people for failing to empathize with them.

Let's put an end to that right now.

All of us are here recovering today because we tried to empathize with you. We tried to love, accept, and absorb your infinite darkness. We fell into your trap, after you mirrored our personalities and convinced us we had found our soul mates. We cried as you devalued our identities, and we begged when you triangulated us with others.

All the while, you stood there, judging, laughing, and toying with our emotions. Smirking as you watched us plead for compassion.


And now you cry victim? You demand understanding & empathy?

Let me make this perfectly clear: We owe you nothing. This journey is not about you.

I do not care if you were born this way or if you are a product of a difficult past. You destroy lives. That is what you do now, and you will never change.

It is not my responsibility to feel bad about this. If you had approached me honestly and asked for help, then of course I would have offered it. But you fooled me into loving a fake persona, and then laughed in my face when you tortured & abandoned me.

I survived that, and now I have a chance to life my life, free from your mind games & manufactured drama. Unlike you, I am capable of change. And that's an opportunity I cannot pass up.

It's not about you, and that's what you fail to comprehend - your mind actually seems incapable of processing it. Even when thousands of survivors embark on an adventure to break all contact with your kind forever, you feel victimized.

Every one of us is here today because we want to find self-respect & happiness again. That's it. How can you be a victim of that? We stand here in our quiet corner of the world, healing & rebuilding the self-esteem you once tried to destroy.

I choose to save my compassion for those who are capable of reciprocating it. As the word continues to spread, we are going to find more and more people who seek the same sort of mutual serenity. It's called self-respect. And it's not because we fail to empathize with you. It's because we already have, and now we want absolutely nothing to do with you.

This article was originally published in forum thread: It's Not About You started by Peace View original post

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