Saturday, August 30, 2014

More Than My Fair Share of "I'm Sorry's" But Never Again.


And, no matter if you acknowledge me or not, see me or look right through me, reply to me or ignore me; nothing's going to change this truth. I can't unknow what I know. I don't want to either. I'd just like to find a person to share it with. Someone who does not look right through me. Someone who see's. Someone who value's the valuable things, which have nothing to do with fame, fortune or even love. All easily attained and easily lost. 

Friday, August 22, 2014

Philip Wesley - Dark night of the soul




http://www.eckharttolle.com/newsletter/october-2011

Eckhart on the Dark Night of the Soul




Q: Have you ever experienced the dark night of the soul?  Your teachings have been so helpful through this difficult period.  Can you address this subject?
A: The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time.  Yes, I have also experienced it.  It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.  The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression.  Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything.  Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level.  The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example if your child dies.  Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses.
It can happen if something happens that you can’t explain away anymore, some disaster which seems to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.  Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it.  So that results in a dark place.  But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness.  Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain.  Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.
They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind.  A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer.  It’s a kind of re-birth.  The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die.  What dies is the egoic sense of self.  Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.  Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening.  Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.
The first lesson in A Course in Miracles says “Nothing I see in this room means anything”, and you’re supposed to look around the room at whatever you happen to be looking at, and you say “this doesn’t mean anything”, “that doesn’t mean anything”.   What is the purpose of a lesson like that?  It’s a little bit like re-creating what can happen during the dark night of the soul.  It’s the collapse of a mind-made meaning, conceptual meaning, of life… believing that you understand “what it’s all about”.  With A Course in Miracles, it’s a voluntary relinquishment of the human mind-made meaning that is projected, and you go voluntary into saying “I don’t know what this means”, “this doesn’t mean anything”.  You wipe the board clean.  In the dark night of the soul it collapses.
You are meant to arrive at a place of conceptual meaninglessness.  Or one could say a state of ignorance – where things lose the meaning that you had given them, which was all conditioned and cultural and so on.  Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning.  It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything.  That’s why it’s so scary when it happens to you, instead of you actually consciously embracing it.  It can bring about the dark night of the soul – to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence.  You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness.  Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Why we choose suicide: Mark Henick at TEDxToronto

Megadeth - A Tout Le Monde and Metallica-Fade to Black Both Quite Fitting





A TOUT LE MONDE  –
MEGADETH Review The Song (90)                               

Don't remember where I was
I realized life was a game
The more seriously I took things
The harder the rules became
I had no idea what it'd cost
My life passed before my eyes
I found out how little I accomplished
All my plans denied

So as you read this know my friends
I'd love to stay with you all
smile when you think of me
My body's gone that's all...

A tout le monde (To all the world!)
A tout mes amis (To all my friends)
Je vous aime (I love you)
Je dois partir (I must leave)

These are the last words
I'll ever speak
And they'll set me free

If my heart was still alive
I know it would surely break
And my memories left with you
There's nothing more to say

Moving on is a simple thing
What it leaves behind is hard
You know the sleeping feel no more pain
And the living all are scarred

A tout le monde (To all the world!)
A tout mes amis (To all my friends)
Je vous aime (I love you)
Je dois partir (I must leave)
These are the last words
I'll ever speak
And they'll set me free

So as you read this know my friends
I'd love to stay with you all
Please smile, smile when you think about me
My body's gone that's all

A tout le monde (To all the world!)
A tout mes amis (To all my friends)
Je vous aime (I love you)
Je dois partir (I must leave)
These are the last words
I'll ever speak


And they'll set me free



FADE TO BLACK  – METALLICA

Life, it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

 No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed

Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Is it possible...

Going To A For-Profit College Won't Help You Get Hired- SUPPORTING MY RANT ABOUT SNAP AND SCHOOL

Well duh. This is what I have been bitching about and what my previous post was in reference to as well. This bullshit that aid is only for those that take on the insane costs of for profit schooling the state requires through their system (if you want an education that is), and probably takes a chunk of as well, and then punishing those trying to get a degree for little to no debt and on their own is total bullshit. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/18/for-profit-colleges-hired_n_5689598.html

A new study comparing graduates of for-profit colleges with those of cheaper community colleges found attending a school like the University of Phoenix or DeVry doesn't impress employers much.

In fact, researchers concluded, the students would be better off attending community colleges for a much smaller tuition price.

The paper was produced by the National Center for Analysis of Longitudinal Data in Education Research, with researchers from the University of Missouri and RAND, according to the Wall Street Journal.


Researchers sent nearly 9,000 resumes of fictious applicants to employers in response to job postings in major cities. The fake applicants had attended either a for-profit college, a public community college, or a local high school. According to the Journal:

Employers responded to community-college grads with an interested call or e-mail 11.6% of the time, compared with 11.3% for for-profit college graduates. They asked to schedule interviews with 5.3% of applicants who had community-college credentials, and 4.7% of applicants hailing from for-profit colleges. (High-school graduates received responses 10.6% of the time, and interview requests 4.2% of the time.) None of the differences are statistically significant.
The researchers told Inside Higher Ed their big surprise was that the fake for-profit college grads came so close to community colleges. Multiple federal investigations have shown for-profit colleges have higher-than-average student debt loads, have a poor job placement record and mostly fail to graduate.

A recent study by The Institute for College Access & Success concluded dozens of for-profit schools had more students in default on their education loans than graduates.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

FUCK THE SYSTEM. FUCK SOCIAL SERVICES IDEA OF SUPPORT SERVICES. DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU!

Our system supports the poor taking on tens of thousands of dollars in debt for a certificate that rarely leads anywhere rather than supporting those same people getting an actual degree for nothing or limited debt. Our system does not support the education that will get them further employment and wages. It does not support the education that will lead to higher degrees and wages and more job opportunities. It does not support the education that carries with it a level of respect. Instead it supports a limited area of education that is overflowing with graduates that continue to not be able to find work and is only good in the area trained in. And in fact, our system is penalizing anyone who takes the initiative to get a better education without the tens of thousands in debt. Our system continues to support keeping the poorest of the poor down, not helping them get up and stand tall. Instead if they are lucky enough to actually find work in their limited area of 'expertise' they do it starting off with unimaginable levels of debt. So, they continue to struggle to survive because even though they have now found employment they have all that debt to pay back as well.

Now tell me the system doesn't need to be fixed. Tell me it isn't broken. Tell me there is logic in this system. And if you still are not convinced then let me add that if a person chooses to just sit and rot on aid then they can. All the better for them. Then they do not have the plethora of hoops to jump through to better their situation. And if you add popping out a kid here and there a person can have a pretty cush life. A struggling life but still one not lacking in food, cash, medical, education (if you can really call it that), and any other number of options to pick from.... And with all the bitching and complaining this nation does about having to aid the poor, they punish the poor for what the government has created. For what the government has forced them to choose from. From what the government chooses to support. IT IS YOUR GOVERNMENT THAT IS FUCKING YOU!! IT IS NOT THE POOR! WAKE THE FUCK UP!

22 The enrollment status of a student shall begin on the first day of the school term of the institution 
of higher education. Once a student enrolls in an institution of higher education, such enrollment 
shall be deemed to continue through normal periods of class attendance, vacation and recess 
unless the student graduates, is suspended or expelled or drops out. 

So, to clarify this bit from the State Food Stamp Regulation Manual- if you were a student at a 2 year or 4 year college and you were not suspended or expelled and you did not drop out then you will continue to be 'a student' whether you are enrolled or not. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, right? So this means that you do not qualify for aid. You must be suspended, expelled, graduate or drop out to qualify for aid again. That's the way to support education? LOL! If you just couldn't afford a semester or lost your transportation or were sick or any number of other issues people face daily then you are still fucked. But if you 'drop out' you lose all your funding for the future. Same thing if you are suspended or expelled.. Our system supports these negatives. Amazing.

http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/students
Most able-bodied students ages 18 through 49 who are enrolled in college or other institutions of higher education at least half time are not eligible for SNAP benefits. However, students may be able to get SNAP benefits if otherwise eligible and they:

Get public assistance benefits under a Title IV-A program; 
THIS IS A LIE. THE PROGRAMS ARE LISTED BUT ONLY ONE- FEDERAL WORK STUDY- IS ACKNOWLEDGED. THIS WAY THEY CAN DENY YOU IN BETWEEN SEMESTERS AND SUCH, THEY ONLY ACKNOWLEDGE SEMESTERS WHEN THEY CAN USE THEM TO WORK AROUND THE TITLE IV-A CLAUSE. OTHERWISE, THEY DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE SEMESTERS, VACATION TIME, OR RECESS SO BASICALLY THEY ACCEPT NOTHING AS NON-SCHOOL TIME EXCEPT WHEN IT AFFECTS TITLE IV-A. 

Take part in a State or federally financed work study program; THIS IS WHAT THEY ACKNOWLEDGE. GRANTS AND SUCH DO NOT GET ACKNOWLEDGED AT ALL UNTIL IT COMES TO WHAT CAN AND CAN NOT BE JUDGED AS INCOME AGAINST YOUR AID. IT IS AT THIS POINT THAT THEY SAY YOUR GRANTS CAN NOT BE USED AGAINST YOUR HOUSEHOLDS INCOME LIMITS. BUT IF YOU ARE IN SCHOOL AND GETTING THESE GRANTS THEN YOU ARE ALSO BEING FORCED TO WORK A MINIMUM OF 20 HOURS A WEEK, SO YOUR AID IS NOW DROPPED TO AT LEAST HALF OF WHAT IT WAS, WHICH EQUATES TO MAYBE $90 OR LESS  IN SNAP/FOODSTAMPS A MONTH. NOT REALLY WORTH THE HASSLE RIGHT?

Work at least 20 hours a week; <<<<<< AND THERE IT IS

Are taking care of a dependent household member under the age of 6;

Are taking care of a dependent household member over the age of 5 but under 12 and do not have adequate child care to enable them to attend school and work a minimum of 20 hours, or to take part in a State or federally financed work study program; or

Are assigned to or placed in a college or certain other schools through:

A program under the Workforce Investment Act of 1998, <<<<MEANING VOCATIONAL SCHOOL

A program under Section 236 of the Trade Act of 1974,
>>>>Sec. 31-236-57. Eligibility of an individual in training approved under the Trade Act 
of 1974
a. The Administrator shall not deny benefits to an otherwise eligible individual for any 
week because he is in training approved under Section 236(a)(1) of the Trade Act of 
1974, or because he left work to enter such training, provided the work left is not 
suitable work, or because, during any week he was in such training, the 
Administrator found he was unavailable for work, failed to make reasonable efforts 
to obtain work or refused to accept work.
b. For purposes of this regulation, "suitable work" means, with respect to an 
individual, work of a substantially equal or higher skill level than the individual’s 
past adversely affected employment, as defined for purposes of the Trade Act of 
1974, and wages for such work at not less than eighty percent of the individual’s 
average weekly wage as determined for purposes of the Trade Act of 1974.<<<< UM, AND WHEN HAS A CERTIFICATE REALLY MANAGED TO ACCOMPLISH THIS IN TODAYS NEW WORLD? THAT IS WITHOUT THE THOUSANDS IN DEBT THE STUDENT WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE ON. YOU WOULD THINK GETTING AN ACTUAL DEGREE WOULD FALL UNDER THIS ACT THESE DAYS. EMPLOYERS ARE REQUIRING A DEGREE TO FLIP BURGERS IN MANY CASES. 

An employment and training program under the Food Stamp Act, or <<<<MEANING VOCATIONAL SCHOOL

An employment and training program operated by a State or local government. <<<<MEANING VOCATIONAL SCHOOL

Also, a single parent enrolled full time in college and taking care of a dependent household member under the age of 12 can get SNAP benefits if otherwise eligible. AND HERE IS WHERE THOSE KIDS COME IN TO PLAY AGAIN....

http://foodstampguide.org/11a-special-rules-for-students/
Exceptions
Individuals can get food stamps if they meet one of the following requirements. [7 C.F.R. §§ 273.5 (b); MPP § 63-406.211.]
LIES!
Employed 20 hours a week based on a reasonably anticipated monthly average [ACL 12-37]; or
Receiving federal or state work-study money. AND HERE IS WHERE YOU FIND THE LIE>>>>>>“Receiving” means when the student is approved for state or federally work study (NO MENTION OF THOSE GRANTS AND STUFF HERE, HUH?!) for the current school term, and anticipates working during the term. The exemption begins the month the school term starts or the month work study is approved, whichever is later. The exemption continues until the end of the month the school term ends [MPP § 63-406.212]; or

63-406 STUDENTS (Continued) 63-406
.121 If mental or physical unfitness for employment is claimed and the unfitness is not 
evident to the CWD, verification shall be required. Appropriate verification may consist 
of receipt of temporary or permanent disability benefits issued by governmental or 
private sources, or a statement from a physician or licensed or certified psychologist.  ( I WAS NEVER ASKED ABOUT THIS NOR WAS I TOLD WHY I WAS BEING DENIED AND FINED FOR THE TEMPORARY AID RECEIVED UNTIL AFTER BEING BILLED AND AFTER MULTIPLE REQUESTS FOR CLARIFICATION THAT I WAS NOT GRANTED I WAS FORCED TO DO THE RESEARCH YOU ARE NOW READING JUST TO UNDERSTAND AND CLARIFY WHAT THIS BITCH  PERSON WAS BASING HER CLAIM ON. SO I AM A STUDENT EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOT REGISTERED OR ENROLLED IN ANY COURSES OVER THE SEMESTER IN PROGRESS AT THE TIME OF MY REQUEST FOR AID BASED ON THIS PILE OF BULLSHIT THAT SOME ASSHOLES BUREAUCRATS PUT TOGETHER FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE POOR PEOPLE. AMAZING HOW MUCH TIME COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED IF SHE HAD DONE HER JOB AND ANSWERED MY NUMEROUS REQUESTS FOR CLARIFICATION. THAT LACK OF AN ANSWER THOUGH, THAT WAS AGAINST THE RIGHTS OF THE APPLICANT. SHE IS REQUIRED TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS, WHICH SHE DID NOT. SO I AM FUCKED BUT MAYBE THIS WILL BE A TINY LOOPHOLE? I DOUBT IT BUT CRAZIER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.)
.2 Eligibility Requirements. 
.21 In order to be eligible to participate in the Food Stamp Program, any student (as defined in 
Section 63-406.1) shall meet at least one of the following criteria on the date of the interview: 
.211 Be employed for a minimum of twenty hours per week and be paid for such employment 
or, if self-employed, be employed for a minimum of 20 hours per week and receive gross 
weekly earnings at least equal to the federal minimum wage multiplied by 20 hours; 
(See Section 63-408.111 and Section 63-502.112). 
 CALIFORNIA-DSS-MANUAL-FS 
MANUAL LETTER NO. FS-03-03 Effective 9/8/03 
 Page 177  FOOD STAMP REGULATIONS 
63-406 (Cont.) ELIGIBILITY STANDARDS Regulations 
63-406 STUDENTS (Continued) 63-406
.212 Be approved for state or federally financed work study for the current school term, as 
defined by the institution, and anticipate working during the term. 
The exemption begins the month the school term starts or the month work study is 
approved, whichever is later. The exemption continues until the end of the month the 
school term ends, or it becomes known that the student refused a work assignment. 
The exemption shall not continue between terms when there is a break of a full month or 
longer unless the student is participating in work study during the break.

22 The enrollment status of a student shall begin on the first day of the school term of the institution 
of higher education. Once a student enrolls in an institution of higher education, such enrollment 
shall be deemed to continue through normal periods of class attendance, vacation and recess 
unless the student graduates, is suspended or expelled or drops out. 
.221 Student eligibility criteria shall be applied on the date of the interview to all applicants 
who are students as defined in Section 63-406.1. The student eligibility criteria shall 
also be applied on the date of the interview to all applicants who are noncontinuing 
students in the final month of student status. <<<< SO I ASSUME THIS WOULD MEAN THE DROP-OUTS, GRADUATES, SUSPENDED OR EXPELLED? NOT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ENROLLED IN CLASSES FOR THE PREVIOUS/CURRENT SEMESTER. WHAT A FUCKING PILE OF BULLSHIT.
 CALIFORNIA-DSS-MANUAL-FS 
MANUAL LETTER NO. FS-03-03 Effective 9/8/03 
 Page 179

Monday, August 11, 2014

Why I 'Get' Suicide

So one of this planets funniest and most lovely comedians took his life today. When I read it it hit me like a brick. I cried and mourned this mans pain and decision to stop it, but I also got it. I do. I get it. When you are battling depression in a time when deceit and ugliness are ruling the world it's like drowning, coming near death and being pulled back up only to drift back out and down again. People are cruel. The world is overflowing with cruel people, many running the systems that control our lives. But it isn't just the big bad people in government and politics or Hollywood, but the little people just waiting for an opportunity to negatively affect other peoples lives. Often and sadly, they look for those in need the most to torture. I know this personally. It seems to never end. I currently have everything I own on Craigslist and I just wasted 2 weeks getting my hopes up by yet another waste of flesh out to deceive. What is the worst part are not the hours and days spent photographing every damn thing I own for this person or sitting in a bedroom surrounded by piles of my life that are suffocating me because I need money more than I need stuff, but it is the way this person continually led me on. The way they got not only my hopes up but my sons as well and the way they affirmed repeatedly that they wanted everything and they were going to come pick it up. It always amazes me how people can make set plans and then just disappear. No integrity. No common decency. Not even an god damn excuse. Just nothing. Every single time I get my hopes up, and it takes a lot for me to even begin to have hope anymore, these 'people' just disappear. My sister in law, my so called best friend, craigslist people in numbers too high to think about, my parents, friends (not all but far far too many), they all get my hopes up and then just fucking disappear. This even when I have pleaded with them to please not make any offers they plan on not following through with because it triggers this 'desire to go' in such a way that it takes weeks to overcome. One day I will not find a way to overcome it anymore. I am already at the stage where to end it does not even create an emotion in me anymore. No fear or dread. That scares me more than anything else and it is so easily avoided if people would just stop. Stop pretending to care. Stop talking when you have nothing of value to say. Just stop. STOP. I wonder if Robin was battling something like this. I wonder if he was tired of all the fake people and all their words. I wonder if he could have been saved by something so simple as a little integrity and hope. I wonder. I wonder. I wonder. 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

25 Characteristics You May Find In Those Who Are Awakening

The Link To The Original Piece...        I AM 22 OUT OF THE 25. ONE I CHOOSE AND THE OTHER TWO I AM WORKING ON AS THEY BOTH SOMEWHAT RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER. HOW DID YOU SCORE? TRUTHFULLY?
There is no doubt the Earth is evolving spiritually. People are experiencing intense changes within their life, work, behaviors and personal relationships. Many are awakening at a rate that can only be described as phenomenal. So how do we know if we are awakening? Here are 25 common characteristics you may find in yourself and others.
Some of you may experience things not on this list and I encourage you to share your experiences in the comments below. We are all unique and many of us are experiencing phenomenon that are difficult to explain at this time. We are all learning from each other.
1. Being in public places is sometimes overwhelming. Since our walls between self and other are dissolving, we haven’t really learned to distinguish between someone else’s energy and our own. If the general mood of the crowd is herd-like or negative, we can feel this acutely, and may feel like retreating into our own private space. When we have recharged our batteries with meditation, spending time in nature, far away from other people, or just sitting in quiet contemplation, we are ready to be with the masses again. In personal relationships, we often will feel someone else’s emotions as our own. It is important to have this higher sense of empathy, but we must learn to allow another person’s emotions while observing them and keeping our empathy, but, realizing that not all emotions belong to usSocial influence can dampen our own innate wisdom.
2. We understand our current paradigm, more than we understand ourselves. We see the big picture and marvel and the duality of our world including why polarity consciousness has brought us to where it has today. We no longer see life choices and right or wrong, good or bad, just choices defined by the neutral frequencies that we later define. Unity consciousness is allowing us to spread the message of unity consciousness to all of humanity that will allow us to heal our division and change the misery of our human beings to abundance within a global community filled with love for each other and not fear of each other.
3. We know things without having to intellectually figure them out. Often called intuitive awareness, we have ‘a-ha’ moments and insights that can explain some of the most complex theories or phenomenon in the world. Some of the most brilliant minds of our time just ‘know.’ Adepts and sages often were given downloads of information from higher states of consciousness after meditating or being in the presence of a more conscious individual; this is happening for more people with more frequency. As we trust our intuition more often, it grows stronger. This is a time of ‘thinking’ with our hearts more than our heads. Our guts will no longer be ignored. Our dreams are becoming precognitive and eventually our conscious thoughts will be as well.
4. We acknowledge our imperfection and how beautiful it is to be an imperfect version of our true selves. We thrive on challenging only ourselves, and not through competition at the expense of another, especially since we have no need to judge those who are exactly where they need to be.
5. Watching television or most of main stream media, including newspapers and many Hollywood movies is very distasteful to us. The mindset that creates much, but not all, of the programming on television and in cinema is abhorrent. It commodifies people and promotes violence. It reduces our intelligence and numbs our natural empathetic response to someone in pain.
6. We no longer have a need to attach our love to material things, understanding that it only leads to misery because we are not learning to love ourselves and others. The mentality only leads to further acquisition of more things. Although things too are part of consciousness, they do not allow humans to accelerate the mass consciousness required to change the world. Only love for ourselves and others can do that. Love is knowing the deservability and worthiness of all. We are loved so unconditionally by Creation that we can even choose to believe that we are not loved.
7. Lying to us is nearly impossible. We may not know exactly what truth you are withholding, but we can also tell that something isn’t right. We also know when you have other emotions, pain, love, etc. that you aren’t expressing. You’re an open book to us. We aren’t trained in counter-intelligence, we are just observant and knowing. While we may pick up on physical cues, we can look into your eyes and know what you are feeling.
8. We may pick up symptoms of your cold, just like men who get morning sickness when their wives are pregnant. Sympathy pains, whether emotional or physical, are something we experience often. We tend to absorb emotion through the solar plexus, considered the place we ‘stomach emotion’ so as we learn to strengthen this chakra center, we may sometimes develop digestive issues. Grounding to the earth can help to re-establish our emotional center. Walking barefoot is a great way to re-ground.
9. We tend to root for the underdog, those without voices, those who have been beaten down by the matrix, etc. We are very compassionate people, and these marginalized individuals often need more love. People can sense our loving hearts, so complete strangers will often tell us their life stories or approach us with their problems. While we don’t want to be a dumping ground for everyone’s issues, we are also a good ear for those working through their stuff.
10. We don’t feel the need to awaken every person we see. Within a few sentences we can interpret their level of comfort in discussions relating to consciousness. When necessary, we plant a seed and if it’s meant to grow it will. We understand that attempting to awaken those who are not ready is toxic to their sensibilities.
11. If we don’t learn how to set proper boundaries, we can get tired easily from taking on other people’s emotions. Energy Vampires are drawn to us like flies to paper, so we need to be extra vigilant in protecting ourselves at times.
12. We are all becoming healers. We naturally gravitate toward healing fields, acupuncture, reiki, Qi-Gong, yoga, massage, midwifery, etc. are fields we often find ourselves in. We know that the collective needs to be healed, and so we try our best to offer healing in whatever form we are most drawn to. We also turn away from the ‘traditional’ forms of healing ourselves. Preferring natural foods, herbs, and holistic medicine as ways to cure every ailment.
13. We see the possibilities before others do. Just like when the church told Copernicus he was wrong, and he stood by his heliocentric theory, we know what the masses refuse to believe. Our minds are light-years ahead.
14. We are creative. We sing, dance, paint, invent, or write. We have amazing imaginations.
15. We fully accept that we can only attract what is within our vibrational field. There are no experiences that we can obtain in physical form without attracting them from a vibrational perspective. That includes the most horrific experiences and the most beautiful ones. What we are learning to do is accept relationships and experiences for what they are. People and experiences are serving as reflections to teach us something about ourselves.
16. We don’t question what love is, why it is or how it presents itself. We know it is everywhere, in everyone and everything, all permeating and infinite.
17. We require more solitude than the average person.
18. We might get bored easily, but we are really good at entertaining ourselves.
19. We have a difficult time doing things we don’t want to do or don’t really enjoy. We really do believe life was meant to be an expression of joy. Why waste it doing something you hate? We aren’t lazy, we are discerning.
20. We are obsessed with bringing the truth to light.
21. We don’t live in fear of anything. Any and all changes coming, no matter how much they are perceived as negative or dramatic on our Earth, are being designed by us. We have past the point of no return and the Earth is ascending to a higher state of consciousness. Nothing will stop it now.
22. We can’t keep track of time. Our imaginations often get away with us and a day can feel like a minute, a week, a day.
23. We abhor routine.
24. We often disagree with authority (for obvious reasons). Some people call it “anarchy” without a true understanding of what that word or our governments really are.
25. We will often be kind, but if you are egotistical or rude, we won’t spend much time with you or find an excuse to not hang out with people who are obsessed with themselves. We don’t ‘get’ people who are insensitive to other people’s feelings or points of view.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Josh Richardson is a blogger, healer, and a constant pursuer of the natural state of human consciousness. 
Credits: John Richardson, Prevent DiseaseGuest contributor.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Sometimes I See Things in My Dreams. Sometimes They Come True. The Answer to Life Via My Dreams.

 The internal structure of existence.

Every new possibility we discover brings us closer to the end (as a whole universe). Every new tear in the fabric of life weakens our base, our humanity, our existence and our time. I saw a drawing of this as well. A visual to help me understand. I wish I could recreate it and post it as well but I don't have any of those cool tools on my laptop.

If we stopped digging, searching so hard; if we savored more we could slow it down. We could prolong existence by focusing more on enjoying and ‘living in it,’ being present rather than ‘possibilities.’ Once the last new possibility has been thought, it will all go black. It will all cease. Existence will end.
To ask who, what, why, is the road to insanity, as there can be no answer to existence, no end and no answer. It is all a circle. A connected, ‘it,’ a vicious cycle, that there is no end to, ever. That is, unless we hit ‘black,’ which is the last new possibility being thought.
Every new thought (new as in never before thought by anyone), every new answer brings another thought or new possibility and new problems to solve or reasons why something else will or will not work. It is a cycle that there can be no end to until there is nothing new to consider.
Everything we do alters the structure of the integrity of humankind, of the universe. This includes the pursuit of ‘progress’ and personal growth to the degree that we are never satisfied with what is right there waiting to be acknowledged, appreciated, loved and fully seen,  perfect in imperfection.
Our connection to everything makes life’s answer simple.
Internal not external.
Personal connections, not impersonal ones.
Focus on what lives and breathes, not what is dead and gone or never was.
Sharing.
Helping.
Accepting.
Knowing what you can and cannot live with and letting go of the cannot’s without anger or animosity.
Accepting the cans without the expectation that they might not one day become cannots.


Oh, and I die in a car by being rear-ended. I am a passenger. Our vehicle is not moving on impact.
The rest is personal. J

Humbling or Degrading?

When your life has hit the point where you have to post on Facebook begging anyone who has the means to please loan you food money, you know you have hit rock bottom. Doing it a second time in 8 months is just degrading, and disappointing, but mostly degrading. Trying to work through the SNAP system feels about the same way as well. To have your aid stopped with no clear reason as to why is downright infuriating. I know it is not legal either, but they make it so damn difficult to understand the 'rules' of SNAP that even I, the warrior of the system and it's tactics, can't seem to pin down exactly what is needed to fight back. SNAP is now being run just like Social Security/Disability Insurance. They deny you without any clear reason so that fighting it is almost impossible. If they don't give clear reason then you are just wading through piles of shit trying to pinpoint the actual cause you are going to fight. This country is shit now and for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, give it time. Most of us wouldn't have believed it either a few years ago. Once you have your life altering event that drags you down to the bottom you will see how they make it impossible to climb back up.
Peace.