I haven't had much in the way of gratitude lately. It has been a really tough and painful 2 years and the last few months have seriously made me question the point of continuing. Seriously. And although I am still in the middle of this friggin' shitstorm, there have been a few moments of kindness that I really feel the need to express thanks for to a few people. This may seem crass to add but these are the people who helped me financially. Emotionally, the list is much longer and much more intense... You guys are not forgotten!
This is in no particular order as the acts of kindness are all equally beautiful and will forever mark some of my scars with beautiful bits of beauty...
To my daughters high school friend and one of my pseudo children, Sara. I love you. I am so proud of you. You have grown up to be and do amazing things and I know how hard you worked to get where you are. You made a great impression on my daughter as well, and that positive example helped to drive her in the right direction educationally, so again, thank you and I love you!
To Phil, my first love 30 years ago. Thank you for being there and doing what you could to help me get through all this crap. I know you and your lovely wife are struggling as well and your help was unexpected and appreciated beyond words. You have come really far since the troubled young man of our youth and even though you are going through a rebellion of middle age, and maybe gettin' a little crazy, I have faith you will not take the same turns of long ago. Your heart is big and I am thankful for knowing you all these years! You rock the middle age mid-life crisis Kid!! I love you! Give that wife BIG HUGS from me!
Christina. You big dork! Even though you sent me va jay jay shots of your piercing, which were a bit on the WHAT! side, you know I love you Woman! I know you are struggling with your health and that you are fighting like crazy to be the best damn superwoman you can be, and succeeding at it as well! You are inspirational, if not a bit irritating with all your perfect love posts, which let's face it, make anti-love people like me a bit ill, you know we are all hella jealous! I know I am! Thank you for your kindness and words of inspiration. I know I don't always appreciate it because on many days the last thing I want is inspiration shit, in the end I know it is all with love that you are expressing it, so thank you for not ditching this bitch when she can't see through the fog. XOXO
And to my OKC friend, who's name I won't mention here because I don't know you or your situation well enough to want to risk outing you, you know who you are... THANK YOU. Your kind act will stay with the others listed, here in my heart, and mark my soul with gratitude for all my days. And as I said above, even when my expression of gratitude sucks, it is there. I am just not made of the stuff that makes expressing it in the online world very poetic. I'm great in person but online is a real struggle. I am made of the old things of showing through physical expression like smiles and hugs and laughter. I hope you understand that and know how thankful I am for your kindness to me. I wish you all the luck in the world finding your true love as well!
And Mikey. My best friend and brotha from anotha motha... I loves you. And I like my hat!! XOXO