Monday, August 10, 2015

The Bittersweet Blessings of this Life.

My kid has become so fearless!!! I woke up to this in my FB messages:              
So I'm 99% sure I'm going to change my major to mechanical engineering. I already printed out the change form and stuff. This internship has changed my mind on so many things. And it's gonna make my college career a lot longer but I don't want to get a degree in tech writing because it's easy, I'd rather do what I want regardless of how much work it'll be. Engineers get to do the coolest shit and I want to be a part of it all!

I wrote 'became so fearless' because my Baby Girl has had to overcome some anxiety issues over the years that could have held her back severely, but she is a bulldozer when she puts her mind to something and has always managed to do the undo-able. This won't be the first time she has chosen a new path but this one includes becoming a inspiration to all girls at a time when women are being sent back decades by our politicians and religious wack jobs.
That 'internship' she mentioned that changed her life path was this summer working for NASA. Yeah, you read that right. I said NASA. 
So, I may have screwed my own life up in the later years but I will always have proof that for first 40+ years I worked my ass off to overcome the crap of my fucked up life so I could give my kids something honest and true to build their own lives on. They are strong spawn with a serious work ethic, integrity and a desire to be their own people not sheep sleepwalking through life waiting to be told what they want to hear and telling others what they expect to be told. They are definitely my kids. I'll take that proudly with me to the grave. 

The bittersweet blessings of this life.

I'm bummed that I don't have anyone to share this with anymore except here in the void that no one actually reads and one friend in FB. 
Bad luck, bad timing and bad people choices may as well be an infectious disease. Everyone is very sympathetic in the beginning but suddenly they disappear when the reality hits them that 'this could me,' and no one wants to face that truth. No one wants to see in technicolor just how fast and easily they can lose their life. And by life I mean what you worked for and acquired and the people you believed in and the comfort of the patterns and systems we create. The trust we thought we built and the security within those walls of trust. Anyway, I'm a disease and everyone (<most) was too weak and pathetic to be there for or with me so they ran and now i have no one to share these things with. Except here in the void of the interwebs in blogland....


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