Monday, September 14, 2015

And That FB Friend is on A Fucking Roll at Pissing Me Off.

My previous post was about this 'FB friend' and his obsession with what I call self-help guru gods or in other words, The Blind leading the sheep as far as their pockets are deep. OK, that was a stupid line but minimal brain function at the  moment and too much pain as well. Plus, I wasn't signed on to the interwebs for more than 2 minutes before I was forced to write the reply that this post is actually about but my A.D.D. brain has once again driven me off course a bit. (Big breath)
So, I told my mom I am moving out. I sent the email like 4 days ago. She read it last night. In true form she has gone into illogical land and decided to be shocked and hurt rather than elated as she has been drilling into me her deep desire for me to (and I quote) 'get the fuck out of her house so she can have her fucking life back and her friends will stop avoiding her and she can enjoy her life that she hates now BECAUSE OF ME.' Unquote, although a mash-up of quotes it is... So before bed I posted this on my FB page and then took a Xanax so I wouldn't lose my shit:

MY POST: I give my mom exactly what she wants and she has the audacity to be 'hurt and shocked'????? WTF?? A true narcissist (narcopath) in action my friends. No way to win. No way to satisfy them. Always being victimized even by the people they control. It's almost comical. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK! Breathe...
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FRIEND likes this.

REPLIES:

PERSON TRYING TO PUSH ME>>
Your mother is "hurt and shocked" over a gift ?
Like · Reply · 10 hrs <<< MY QUESTION HERE IS WHY ARE THEY COMMENTING ON SOMETHING THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T GRASP? WHY NOT ASK TO CLARIFY? WHY THEN GO ON TO COMMENT AGAIN??????????????????  WHY?!!!!! THEY ASKED FOR IT...

FRIEND She's always seemed happier with an audience.
Like · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs

FRIEND You can't please everybody, now is the time for you to think of yourself.
Like · Reply · 1 · 6 hrs

PERSON TRYING TO PUSH ME>>> 
It may end up better for your own peace, to forgive your mother. If she has narcissistic tendencies, she may be unaware of it. Your parents can die at any moment.
Like · Reply · 6 hrs · Edited  <<<<<<The Comment that pushed me over the edge this morning AND THE EXACT REASON WHY I choose to be an introverted fucking recluse (not now as now is forced but I'll be good with like 1-5 friends. If that. Fuck this shit)

THIS IS ME REPLYING>>> 
The 'gift' is that I am moving. I am giving her exactly what she has been drilling into me almost 24/7 as her deepest desire for the past 2 years. And PLEASE, please, stop giving me advice. I haven't known you long enough to have the patience to hear it and I don't do the 'guru doctor' this says, or 'they say to yadda yadda' thing. 
My life. 
My experience and not the easily categorized and labeled life either. 
So again, as I asked you before; no almost begged you, STOP IT. Everyone dies btw (thanks for the attempt to guilt me into accepting the unacceptable). No one should hold more value where that statement is concerned as everyone has some value to someone somewhere but that is no excuse to accept abuse. NO EXCUSE. And if that is what you tell yourself and others then you are accepting your self worth as less than... and that is all you. Not someone else using and abusing you. Parents and relatives ARE NOT specially licensed to abuse. They get no special 'get out of jail' cards giving them free reign to do so without repercussions. The only person that can do that is you. Anyway, I didn't plan on going to sleep to her shit and waking-up to the guilt fest of eminent death but thanks for the wake-up call.

This reply I did post.

The previous reply (on my previous blog post) I never posted on FB because I was attempting to be a kind and empathetic person who would try to 'let it go' a bit but people are like a manufacturing line of the exact same product. They are so god damn predictable that I just want to scream and break things until I accidently cut an artery and bleed the fuck out. Sweet relief. I can count on one hand the number of people with unique minds that interest me that I know. My kids are two of them. That's 40% of the people. 
I have a week and then I can leave here. I'm elated and freaked out and totally losing my shit trying to sit in this fucking room and wait and now I get to dread my mothers eventual explosion too. Well, at least that will make the staring at the walls and tv a bit more enticing. I need coffee... later people. Or person. Or dead air and crickets. 

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