Thursday, May 8, 2014

Blah Blah Blah= Update

I imagine a day when I can come to this place and write about all the great things happening in my life and around me. For now, just more shit. 

We just figured out that my sons unemployment ends June 15th. Uh yeah, it would be lovely if they bothered to put that date on his stubs rather than the end date. The end date is what we thought was, well, the end date for his UE benefits. It isn't. The real end date is at 26 weeks, not the date on every single damn stub. For all the useless crap they have typed on the useless stubs, since it is all online these days, you would think they might consider THAT date the REAL end date, to be important enough to put there as well. Just another fucked up part of the illogically run system. Not shocking but again, another hit for the people just trying to survive. 

So, no more food, gas, paying of bills or well anything after June 15th if something doesn't happen between now and then that is not another baseball bat to the head and gut. Our run of bad luck and bad circumstances seems to have no end. I don't have cancer, so that is a plus, but I have shingles. Um, k. Aren't shingles suppose to be like, the most painful thing? If these are shingles then I have the no pain kind, which doesn't exist but you know, I'm lucky that way or possibly, it isn't what the clinic thinks it is. LOL! Time will tell, or kill me while I wait. If I am lucky. Oh! And my B-12 is almost non-existent, so weekly shots for that. They say that might be part of this depression issue, and that any nerve damage from it is not repairable. WOOT. Am I the only one seeing the awesome way I am totally fucked but there is that tiny little 'it could be worse' thing there to make me feel like an asshole for being more aware of the huge bad part rather than the tiny, could be worse part? If you put all those tiny bits of good together it wouldn't even touch the big pile of bad. So it is a little difficult to focus on that when there is so much life threatening shit happening to us. So yeah. Think positive and all that shit. Sure. No problem. 

On the plus side, the Circle-K up here is hiring. On the bad side, as soon as we found that out my car started to die off and on and my brakes are sounding horrible and both front tires seem to be losing air, along with the power steering leak issue, the catalytic convertor issue and of course the 2012 tags and no registration at all for this year due to the lack of funds to pay it and the 7 months of late fees so far... thats the sound of me, sighing, heavily. I miss my old, fucked up, loveless, miserable life. The one with a mate and home and such, not the one I have now. To be clear. I forget what human touch feels like, and having someone, anyone to interact with about anything beyond money issues and our sorry life. I suppose that is why I come here. If only my blog had warm hands...

I want to write about the one positive here, but I can't. If I do, as per some contract written somewhere in the universe, it will all go to immediate shit, and I need what little I can hold onto, so I wish I could share but they just won't let me. The universes contract writers seem to think I am some huge asshole who needs a neverending reminder. I don't. I see it. I get it. I would love a break in the eternal gain of cosmic wisdom via struggle and pain. Plus, I could use the time to free up some space in the old noggin'. It's on overflow at this point so it's all going to waste anyway. Anyone listening out there? No. I am aware that, like this blog, there is no one paying attention to my dribble. Bummer.

So! We eat for 5 more weeks! See? I can focus on the good momentarily. Ha ha ha. Sarcastic me. 

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