Thursday, April 12, 2018

Quirky & Opinionated

What Will This Abstract Image Test Reveal About Your True Self?   <<<link

Quirky & Opinionated

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Based on your associations with the abstract, you tend to be a shy and quiet person, but you also have tendencies to be eccentric and full of energy. Regardless, you are a deep, intellectual thinker who loves helping others and believes firmly in a number of causes. You are a diplomat who is able to easily solve problems and quell conflicts. You don't care for social norms and standards and tend to do things your own way. One of your pet peeves is when people try to constrain or limit you, since you crave freedom and independence. Sometimes you can appear cold or insensitive, but you have a deep and genuine concern for humanity and once you let someone into your world, you are good at expressing your emotions. You have a talent for exploiting your creative imagination for business purposes and this will get you very far.

"deep, intellectual thinker "
THIS MEANS I DON'T REALLY 'DO' IMMATURE OR STUPID HUMOR. I CAN'T HELP IT. IT BORES ME TO NO END AND I ALREADY DID MY MANY YEARS OF TORTURE WHILE BEING A MOM (KID HUMOR CAN BE PAINFUL, "PULL MY FINGER!"), A WIFE (IN-LAW HUMOR CAN BE PAINFUL AS WELL, THE SAME 5 TO 10 STUPID ONE LINERS OR PLAYS ON WORDS ETC. IT'S CRUEL), AND THE MATE OF A POTHEAD (STONED HUMOR IS THE WORST WHEN IT IS ALL THERE IS ANYMORE. NO MATTER HOW INTELLIGENT THE STONER IS THEY BECOME COMPLETE IDIOTS ONCE THEY ARE WASTED.). SO YEAH, NO. I CAN'T MUSTER ANYTHING UP TO PLAY THAT ANYMORE AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BECAUSE PEOPLE SHOULD WANT A GENUINE REACTION NOT 'JUST ANY REACTION' BE IT FAKE OR OTHERWISE. WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME GIVING ANYONE A FAKE RESPONSE EXCEPT TO NURSE THEIR EGO? NO. ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU DO THIS WHEN YOU KNOW IT WILL NOT GO THE WAY YOU DEMAND IT TO GO. WHY YOU KEEP FORCING THE SAME SCENARIOS. WHY YOU NEED THIS ATTENTION RATHER THAN GOING WITHIN AND REPAIRING WHATEVER DAMAGE YOU HAVE THAT INSISTS THAT OTHERS RESPOND TO YOU, NOT HONESTLY, BUT RATHER THE WAY YOU DEMAND/EXPECT? WHY DOES THIS CREATE SO MUCH ANIMOSITY WITHIN YOU? THE ANSWER ISN'T IN MY REACTION OR LACK THEREOF BUT IN YOUR NEED TO REPEAT THE BEHAVIOR THEN LASH OUT.... 
ALSO, THE MORE A PERSON PROTESTS SOMETHING NO ONE HAS QUESTIONED, THE LESS CONVINCING THAT PROTEST WILL BE. IF YOU EQUATE BASIC COURTESY AND BASIC CONSIDERATION TO BEING CALLED PETTY THEN YOU HAVE A SERIOUS ISSUE THAT YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH. YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHY YOU ARE SEEING AND HEARING SOMETHING NOT THERE. IF SOMEONE HAS BLATANTLY PUT YOU INTO QUESTION THEN THERE IS REASON TO BE DEFENSIVE, BUT BASIC COMMON COURTESIES ARE SHOWING AN APPRECIATION NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK. BEING QUIET, NOT TAKING EVERYTHING OFFERED, NOT WANTING TO BE NIT PICKED TO DEATH BECAUSE IT MAKES A PERSON WANT TO KNOCK YOU OUT, ASKING FOR SPECIFICS RATHER THAN THE VAGUE SO THAT A PERSON CAN MAKE SOUND DECISIONS AND CHOICES THAT WON'T CAUSE MORE CRAP.... JESUS FUCK. IF A PERSON COULD JUST GET CLEAR CONCISE ANSWERS AND BE HEARD AND REMEMBERED (WHEN THEY REPEATEDLY GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO GIVE YOU SPECIFICS AND CLEAR ANSWERS TO NO AVAIL) THEN LIFE COULD TRULY BE WORTH LIVING, BUT NOPE. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES ONE ASKS, THE ANSWERS ARE ALWAYS EITHER VAGUE OR NON-EXISTENT (AVOIDED BY ATTACKS AND THE TWISTING OF WORDS TO DETOUR THE ANSWER). MORE 'FIGHTS' ARE BASED ON THIS ISSUE THAN ANY OTHER. CONSTANT DEFLECTING. 
de·flect
dəˈflekt/
verb
gerund or present participle: deflecting
cause (something) to change direction by interposing something; turn aside from a straight course.
DEFLECTING... THE NEVER FUCKING ENDING DEFLECTING BY THE PEOPLE REFUSING TO STOP AND JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ALLOW THEMSELVES TO SEE AND BE. THIS NEED TO REFUSE TO ADMIT FLAWS BECAUSE THEN YOU MUST ADDRESS THEM, (BUT YOU MUST ANYWAY BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE SEE'S THEM WHILE YOU PRETEND THEY AREN'T THERE AND AS LONG AS YOU GUYS DO THAT YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANY SELF LOVE). YOU WON'T EVER FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE, YOU WILL ALWAYS TRY TO DEFEND YOURSELF WHEN NO ONE BUT YOU HAS ACCUSED. YOU WILL GET ANGRY AT THE PEOPLE WHO ACCEPT THEMSELVES. YOU WILL WASTE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY ON AVOIDING YOURSELF AND ALIENATING OTHERS. IT'S SUCH A WASTE. WE WILL NEVER GET TIME BACK EITHER. IT'S GONE. WASTED. AND THE PEOPLE YOU PUSH AND HURT WILL NEVER FULLY HEAL FROM THE PAINS YOU INFLICT IN YOUR AVOIDANCE. 
I'M A FUCKING SCREEN ALREADY, SO A FEW MORE FUCKING HOLES WON'T DO MUCH, SO IT'S REALLY A WASTE OF TIME TO CONTINUE TO TRY, BUT OTHERS ARE USUALLY LESS DAMAGED. OTHERS WILL FEEL IT THE WAY I FELT IT WHEN I WAS NOT A PLETHORA OF HOLES AND OPEN WOUNDS. I CAN ATTEST TO HOW CRUEL THAT IS AND ALSO TO HOW YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE 'THAT PERSON' TO SOMEONE IF YOU CAN AVOID IT. SO AVOID IT. GO GET THERAPY OR READ SOME BOOKS OR TAKE A FEW PSYCH AND PHILOSOPHY COURSES OR DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING POSITIVE TO STOP THE CYCLE THAT IS EATING UP YOUR LIVES.
AND TRY TO REMEMBER THAT THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE SO MUCH ANIMOSITY FOR THAT HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS INTERNAL WORK WERE ONCE STANDING RIGHT WHERE YOU STAND NOW. THEY'VE BEEN THERE FELT THAT. THE DIFFERENCE IS THE COURAGE TO FACE IT, ACCEPT IT, AND DEAL WITH IT IN A HEALTHY MANNER THAT PROPELS YOU FORWARD, NOT BACKWARDS OR KEEPING YOU TRAPPED IN LIMBO. LIMBO IS HELL. I THINK I AM IN LIMBO UNTIL I MANAGE TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE SEE AND MOVE FORWARD. ITS THE ONLY ANSWER I HAVE TO WHY I KEEP ENCOUNTERING THE SAME PERSON IN A DIFFERENT SHELL. EVERY AGE, GENDER, BACKGROUND... SAME PERSON. SAME DAMAGE. SAME REFUSAL. IT'S A NIGHTMARE I CAN'T ESCAPE. I'VE TRIED. I GIVE UP THOUGH. I ACCEPT THAT THIS WILL NOT END WELL FOR ME. I WILL NOT EVER MANAGE TO REACH ANY ONE OF THESE PEOPLE. MY FAILURE TO HELP WILL BE MY LIFE FAILURE AND I WILL EITHER CONTINUE THIS HELLISH LIMBO OR I WILL END IT THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW. SAD FACT. DEPRESSING FACT. IS THIS HOW DOCTORS FEEL WHEN THEIR PATIENT DIES? "I TRIED SO HARD, AND FOR WHAT? THIS?" AFTER A WHILE I CAN SEE HOW MANY DOCTORS JUST GIVE UP ON BEING CONNECTED TO THEIR PATIENTS ANYMORE. THEN AGAIN (THIS IS THE INFJ SPEAKING) I CAN ALSO SEE ALL THE PEOPLE HELPED AND SAVED. ALL THE IN-BETWEENS. SIGH. LIFE AND DEATH SHOULD BE A LOT MORE CUT AND DRY DAMN IT. 

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Speak... please! And thank you! I am still waiting for a comment. Anyone?? Crickets... figures.