Own your own power; don't give it away. WORD.

Own your own power; don't give it away. The task is to begin making conscious decisions rather than reacting from the gut level. If you refuse to face your own issues and claim what is rightfully yours, present circumstances and those you must deal with can have power over you. What you do not claim as your own can be claimed by lovers, friends and even enemies. You can choose to avoid the issues innate to your psyche, but then you also avoid the wonder of the power you possess and your ability to provide insight to others. The process of gaining control over yourself leads to power in all other areas of life. This is the year to make a stand, and you are likely to confront others. Once you have healed yourself and owned your own power, you have the ability to give insight to others and influence their behavior also. The psychological power associated with Pluto can be used to heal more than one person. It can be used for your own healing or that of others. In the ideal situation, both healing processes occur simultaneously, with each individual involved contributing pieces of information leading to wholeness.

Brennan bartel live at the dial

My psuedo son!! He's amazing and I am so proud to have gotten to see him grow up and become the young man he is today!!

You

I love you. For now we will play this by ear, but eventually we will have to speak of things that are being avoided. I would like to ignore them as much as anyone and live in blissful ignorance, but it is not possible. For now though I will believe the unbelievable and try to keep the shadows from eating me alive...

M

T h e P r o u s t Q u e s t i o n n a i r e

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Losing a child.

Where would you like to live?

In a Victorian on a cliff high above the ocean or Greece.

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

To live near my family, have good friends, books, laughter, health and financial security.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

Gambling, not saying what I feel for my best interests, fear and lack of drive in day to day life.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?

Roland DeShane the obsessive, faulty but driven hero

Who are your favorite characters in history?

Joan of Ark

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?

Angelina Jolie for living as she wants and feels and for her compassion and inner beauty.

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

Heroines, wise and fearless woman, fighters for good and the underdogs.

Your favorite painter?

I don't have a favorite.

Your favorite musician?

Greg Graffin

The quality you most admire in a man?

Morality, sense of humor and strength and integrity.

The quality you most admire in a woman?

Charm

Your favorite virtue?

Integrity.

Your favorite occupation?

Making a difference in lives

Who would you have liked to be?

Angelina Jolie

Your most marked characteristic?

I am wise.

What do you most value in your friends?

Relating and laughter.

What is your principle defect?

Caring to much and losing me.

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

To have not had my children.

What would you like to be?

A better version of me. Louder, stronger and a bit less caring.

What is your favorite color?

White.

What is your favorite flower?

Lily

What is your favorite bird?

Hummingbird.

Who are your favorite prose writers?

Stephen King.

Who are your favorite poets?

Pablo Neruda and Charles Bukowski

Who are your heroes in real life?

Those who accomplish their dreams and desires without hurting anyone.

Who are your favorite heroines of history?

Joan of Arc.

What are your favorite names?

Atticus.

What is it you most dislike?

Not being 'seen.'

What historical figures do you most despise?

The Bush clan, Hitler etc.

What event in military history do you most admire?

Those that fought.

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

Irresistible charm and musical genius.

How would you like to die?

The best person I could have ever been.

What is your present state of mind?

Lost myself. Ready to leave this planet.

What is your motto?

Why do we get all this life if we don't ever use it? Why do we get all these feelings and dreams and hopes if we don't ever use them? That's where Shirley Valentine disappeared to. She got lost in all this unused life."

Thank you for answering the Proust Questionnaire! Your answers can now be viewed on the Web.

Can You Hear the Echo?

I sit here and morn another love... all that is left is the echo of someone I barely got to know, but I knew him enough to know that he is disappearing at a rate I can not adapt to. I worry about who he will become under the thumb of those who desire to put all of his fire out and not just the dangerous part. I have been in his place before. Led around by my collar by the ones who held the cash and used my families needs as a tool to attempt to control me. And I have gone willingly for their sake, so I see it and I recognize it for what it really is and where it is going to lead. This Golden Boy is turning to tarnish. Losing all his glow and being told it is the only way to be well. I don't agree but it is not my path to follow now is it? All I can do is try to decide if I can watch it progress or if it is going to be too much for me to witness. The later seems most likely. Oh, but it hurts to step away and just be passive when so much will be lost, yet there is no way to battle these warriors hell bent on control and the demise of my love. Only he has the power to choose his path and only he holds the key to his strength and convictions. Sadly, this has always been the case but he never seemed to see that the power laid within HIM, not anyone or anything else. His love for me is not true, although I do believe he wishes it so. It still lies with another and she will inevitably come crawling back sooner or later as it seems they have a history of doing this pathetic dance they call love. This is not love though. It is codependency. It is feeding all the demons instead of nourishing the angels. If it was real true love there would not be so much detachment and reattachment. People that have true love do not sleep with other people, even in between break--ups, which also is another sign of something less than love. If both partners do not appreciate one another enough to be true then there is little to bother salvaging. In my opinion of course, but I have been in relationships from my first one at 13 (over a year). I have never dated. I have never had a frivolous affair. My heart has always been invested, even when I had my own bought of selfish behavior, it was with my heart as well as my mind and body. So it seems the deck is stacked against me and this man I love so. I am unclear why the divine chose to bring us together beyond the fact that I am forever finding myself the pawn used to help others achieve what they thought was un-achievable. And I always, ALWAYS get left to the curb as soon as this has been accomplished. Over and over it happens, like a script with different leading actors. And here it has happened again and my heart is once again left to mend itself of yet another slice and more dangling nerves and irreparable valves. So, if this was the only way to save him then so be it, but this is my last time playing this role. I'd rather be a lonely hermit then continue on this path anymore. I will miss him the most however, as he truly is the one I should have found peace with... I will miss you so much. I don't want to see who you become either. I can't bare to see you with anyone else or AS anyone else. 

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Me in a nutshell... and finding this page was my kernel of corn.... I cried and laughed all at the same time... not a single feeling, or lack there of is one I have or am not experiencing. Wow. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Jose Gonzalez - Down the line (Fromthebasement.tv)

Maxence Cyrin - Where Is My Mind (The Pixies Piano Cover)

"Personal" - Stars (Lyrics)

XX-Shelter

Eventually Everything Dies or Disintegrates.

You put the dog collar on and they applaud but as soon as you attempt to take it off they will yank that cord as hard as they can... this is why you always ran from them. You knew that control was their goal. You knew that to conform to them would be the end of you. And now you go so willingly. Beaten and broken of your own doing. Not seeing how this false reality won't last forever. The real world will be there waiting for you and you will have been coddled and held and made too weak to survive so you will go back to that which made you feel as if you were indestructible or you will allow the collar back on to lead a sheltered life under the thumb of those that use you as you used your drugs and alcohol. YOU are their drugs and alcohol my friend. You don't see how you could have chosen to do do what you did on your own, if you had been willing to let go of the fans and the glee that followed you around and expected you to drink yourself into the 'bigger than' person they all so desperately wished they could be... You could have left this behind and made the choice to leave them and find you again. It would have been hard but you would have still been allowed to be you instead of the fragments of you now mixed with the demands of them, yet again. Trading one ugly mob for another. Trading the fame whores for the money whores.Trading the expected wild freak show for the control freaks. Don't you see? Don't you see? You can not win this way. You can not succeed by being anyone's bitch. LIFE IS this struggle and you HAVE to learn to overcome it in a way that betters you. A way that makes you stronger. A way that makes your soul solid. You have to learn to TRULY believe in who you are without the bottle, the drugs, the fame, the false love. I want to die everyday, but it is because I do not belong here. I can not watch this go on all around me everyday. I can not be beaten and abused for being me and refusing to conform to these control freaks and never be seen as well. Never be acknowledged or find just one person that is the same as me. I just don't want to do it alone anymore. I can stand tall forever. I can let the bitches beat me, but I just don't want to be alone anymore while I take it. It's the being alone part that makes me choose death over this, not my weakness which many will accuse me of. I am not weak. I am tired. I am lonely, BUT I am proud of me and who I am and what I can see that others just won't. I am proud of my scars and my mistakes and my foolish ideas that there is something amazing in everyone, they just have to have the real honest desire to dig it up and accept it. It's too much work. It's too much internal time moving around the lifetime of pains and joys to see the realities and intent that was actually there. It is to painful to admit that you may look foolish or people may look down on you. Fuck that. You do what is true to you and your heart and your soul and you fucking own that shit. But as I said, unless you can find at least one other to share it all with it just becomes too lonely to bear anymore. And this is how I see it. And how I feel. And why I am ready to cut it loose. I have led as many as I can to their needs and deep desires. I have been tossed aside just after as many times I can and I have been disappointed by the lack of integrity or fire to be more than a taker. And it all just depresses me too much to be a part of anymore. And now you. My golden boy. You too fall to the depths of the masses desires. You don't want to believe it yet, or see it or accept it, but you do this to yourself and I am here watching, wondering if I have it in me one more time to be a spectator of another kingdom crumbling to the ground... I don't know... I just don't know.

How Soon is Now? - The Smiths (Full Version)

OM MANI PADME HUM MEDITATION

Ellie Goulding - Your Song

Stateless - Bloodstream (Vampire Diaries Remix)

Wake up and look me in the eyes again
I need to feel your hands
Upon my face
Words can be likes knives
They can cut you open
And the silence surrounds you
and haunts you

I think I might have inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

Words can be like knives
They can cut you open
And then silence surrounds you
and Haunts you

I think I might've inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

The spaces in between
Two minds and all the places they have been
The spaces in between

I tried to put my finger on it
I tried to put my finger on it
I tried to put my finger on it

I think I might've inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
you've gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

I think I might've inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

Elvis 1970-1977 Help Me Make It Through The Night

ELVIS - Can't Help Falling In Love (Remastered audio)

Take my hand. Take my whole life too...

Elvis Presley - Trying To Get To You (Live)- D.

Guster - "Satellite" - (Stop Motion)

LYRICS:
Shining like a work of art
Hanging on a wall of stars
Are you what I think you are?

You're my satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite

Elevator to the moon
Whistling our favorite tune
Trying to get a closer view

You're my satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite
<br>
Maybe you will always be
Just a little out of reach

You're my satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite
You're my satellite

Tom Waits reads Nirvana by Charles Bukowski

The laughing heart (Tom Waits reads a Charles Bukowski poem)

For Damion

Something Nice To Share For Once

Best compliment I've had in ages. It's who it is from, because they have known me for 30 years, and once we loved one another. He is happily married but he took the time to tell me this and when you have a lifetime of failed relationships and the last 3 have been with men who have blamed me for their own shit it can feel pretty fucking pointless. Then a person who has always known who I am takes a minute to verify that, yes, I have in fact always been me. I haven't changed like so many others do with age. I'm talking internally, not physically, but that was nice to hear as well. People want to break me, and I don't understand why, except that maybe I make being real look too easy or too hard? That would mean that their excuses for not being better humans wouldn't mean much more than that they are too damn lazy to bother.

Hey Michele your fucking awesome and I'm gonna say this you are beautiful now. You went from hot and pretty to beautiful all in like 20 yrs. I think I last saw you in 1993 rite before I got busted. Too bad we didn't at a much later date you know what I mean. Anyway I could introduce you to some great guys up here. Funny, they stopped drinking or drink very little and S says there good. looking.

The Police - So Lonely

staind - waste

AWOLNATION - Sail (Official)

Three Days Grace - Never Too Late

IS THIS WHAT THEY SAY AFTER THE FACT? OR DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE WHEN OTHERS ARE SUFFERING AND TRY TO HELP? I WOULDN'T KNOW. NO ONE BOTHERS IN MY WORLD.

Slipknot - Wait And Bleed (HQ)

FUCKING SLIPKNOT... BRILLIANT.

Slipknot - Everything Ends

I'M SO TIRED ★ John Lennon (Audio)

You Made Me Hang Up On You. I Haven't Done That Shit In Decades. No Joke. WTF.

It seems that some people believe that words have certain meanings even when used without the intent being assumed. Words like, 'Kid' and 'Son'. I do not use these words with any negative intent. In fact it is quite the opposite. I use them with affection, and I always have. So... in saying that, let me express to 'the world' which in reality equates to exactly ZERO (friends/readers/followers), unless you count me, that in the previous posts, particularly the ones in the past week, the words Son and Kid were never used to belittle or downgrade anyone's worth or sense of self. Normally I might go back and sensor my writing to appease, but fuck that shit. This is MY page and my flow and my words being spilled, and that is how they came and that is how they will stay, but as I said before, I never meant to create any negativity.

Now, with that said, here is what I have to say... words are powerful things. More powerful than brute force and the next closest thing to an actual emotion. You can hit me all day and I will heal and move on, but you can't attack me with words and expect the same. They never disappear. They stay in the dark corners of the mind showing themselves when the timing seems fit. Negative or positive, they are always there echoing with the intent at which they were spewed. I won't be belittled, particularly for an offense that was not intended to be one and for that which I have said that I would do my best to be conscious of in the future. To attack me with your words after I have agreed to that is unforgivable. Especially, from a person who truly understands the power of that which they are using as a weapon (words). There is no excuse there. You can not hide behind ignorance or lack of intelligence. When you have these gifts you also have to take responsibility for how you use them...

A Girl Can Dream.

I just want to dance in D's fire. Soak myself in the sweat of his passion and pain. Insulate his embers while he rests and ignite the spark that sets it back on its path of greatness. I want to burn my eyes in the reflection of his gaze and I want to lie by his side warmed by the heat radiating from his resting soul. I want burns and scars that remind me of the moments I was a part of life and love and truly there... seen, heard, awakened by this attention. With marks to prove it happened long after it's been taken away.

I don't think it's going to happen though... D's pulling away and I guess I don't blame him, but I will miss him. I might even ache for him. At least I got a moment to bask in his crazy light. That's better than nothing at all. He awakened me to some degree and I thank him for that.


Forever Lyrics
from Welcome To The Cruel World

Not talkin' 'bout a year, no not three or four
I don't want that kind for forever in my life anymore
Forever always seems to be around when it begins
But forever never seems to be around when it ends

So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

People spend so much time, every single day
Runnin' 'round all over town, givin' their forever away
But no, not me, I won't let my forever roam
And now I hope I can find my forever a home

So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

Like a handless clock with numbers an infinite of time
No, not the forever found only in the mind
Forever always seems to be around when things begin
But forever never seems to be around when things end

So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

And So It Begins, If What I Am Feeling Is Intuition.

You know that feeling you get? The one that says..."Things are shifting. You aren't going to like it much." Yeah. That's whats up.
Think me, with my boombox, standing under his window... hoping to be wrong. LOL. I'm fucking losing it aren't I?

Oooo no Here comes that sun again That means another day without you my friend And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else And it's so hard to do And so easy to say But sometimes Sometimes You just have to walk away Walk away So many people to love in my life Why do i worry about one But you put the happy in my ness You put the good times into my fun And it's so hard to do And so easy to say Sometimes Sometimes You just have to walk away Walk away And head for the door We've tried the goodbyes So many days We walk in the same direction So that we could never stray They say if you love somebody Then you have got to set them free But i would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery They say that time, will make all this go away But it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterday And once again that rising sun is a droppin' on down And once again you my friend are no where to be found And its so hard to do, and so easy to say But sometimes Sometimes You just have to walk away Walk away And head for the door You just walk away Walk away Walk away..... Just walk on Walk on Turn and head for the door.... Walk away

I don't want pity, I want a fucking spiritual awaking with love being the light.

I want to believe. With all my being, I want to believe. If I had more to offer it would be easier, but when I did I still got burned. I just do not have that kind of strength anymore. I'm tapped out and good intentions don't mean success. I need success God Damn It. I need to know I am not tainted and that I have something to offer that is truly worth what I lack. Problem is, people want everything. In the end, what was perceived as lacking is what destroys most relationships. I don't want pity, I want a fucking spiritual awaking with love being the light. I guess I want a lot. I deserve it though. I know who I am and I love me. I'm just exhausted by everyone else and I get too tired to keep searching this universe for true. I'm getting old as well, which means I have less and less to offer of what people look for, which is beauty, youth, perky fucking tits and a tight ass. I could buy that, but I don't want to. Maybe a little touch here and there on my face, but none of that plastic shit for me. If I can't make you feel loved the way I am, all the plastic in the world isn't gonna change a got damn thing. Plus, I have never loved a man less for his physical shortcomings. Small dick, and I mean small, extra 100 lbs of flesh, bad skin, bent dick... who the fuck cares. None of those things equate to their true value. In my eyes anyway, but it ALWAYS come down to these things where women are concerned, or at least in my experience. Cheating and porn addiction have run a muck in all my adult relationships. It didn't matter if I was 22 and hot as all hell, tight assed and in sexy near nothings daily; they still cheated and or went to great and amazing heights to feed the porn addiction. I don't understand. It is fake. Fake people expressing fake emotion like a fucking conveyor belt of plastic sex. The more intake you get the more cold and disconnected you become from reality. And BTW, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THE MEN IN THOSE VIDEOS EITHER, but I wouldn't go fuck someone else or steal porn from your parents to watch them (true story). I wouldn't risk anything I love for something so trivial and false. I see the programming or reprogramming going on by this industry of sweat and money... why doesn't anyone else? You claim a non-sheep mentality and try to tell me that your porn needs aren't high tailing you to the closest pack and following? Are you serious? You're being led by your dick Son. It's a myth. You want a fucking mind blowing experience? Try digging around in your 'truth' and working on the shit that's been fucking you up for so long. Try achievement. Try a few really good swift kicks to the head, both heads if need be, and The Ego.
Wow. Did it again. I think my lack of female friends makes me do this. Isn't that where women usually bitch about all this? If I had that maybe I wouldn't keep getting called negative. I don't see it. How is seeing, and facing the realness of your shit and consciously making true attempts to not just overcome, but remold your mind over and over in a true path to ultimate honesty and awareness be negative? Talking about experiences you have had does not equate to negative. Dwelling and using them over and over to get sympathy and attention is. One is for the expectation of something from others and the other is the expectation of a new awareness within. That's my call on the subject.
I will not stop speaking because I have not been blessed enough recently to be able to, in all honesty, appease anyone's need for 'positive' words if I don't have that to speak about. Do you care about me or do you care about the illusion you want me to be? I will be a fucking bright ass star lighting your world if you just let me take care of my business. That would be working through my shit so I am not just another fucking psycho woman who has ignored her life's lessons. I don't even like most women because of this. Peel back the layers and at least try to repair and learn instead of gloss-over the ugly shit. It wouldn't be life if it was all airbrushed and glossy for everyone else's pleasure. This is your life... this is my life... don't let anyone tell you that working it out is doing something negative. Just look at who is saying it. Do they have it all together? And I mean in truth not visually. Internally. Look in their eyes and ask them... the eyes NEVER lie. You just have to be willing to see no matter what the outcome.
Whew. I'm spent. That was fun. Ha! I kinda love a man. He kinda has some shit to deal with that I am not convinced he really wants to take care of, and I don' want to watch anyone else I love fade into insanity or nothingness. He's amazing and his intentions are golden, but I fear his demons own him more than my love can mend... Life is one intense ride.

Bloodshot Sunrise...song by Damion Lane with Trevor Wright on lead guitar.

CALLING HER NAME... the gypsy song, by Damion Lane with Trevor Wright on lead guitar

Damion has the voice of both the Devil and the Angels all rolled up into this haunting savage calming sound of pure liquid dreams. You had me at 5:20-5:30. Nice smirk. Look deeper into my eyes.Yeah, like that. <3

DANGEROUSLY in the STRUKTURE Downtown Fullerton by Damion Lane

He intrigues me so much... beautiful.

The Silent Treatment. I Know It FAR Too Well.

I CAME ACROSS THIS WHILE DOING ESSAY RESEARCH. SINCE IT IS A PIECE OF WHAT I SUFFERED THROUGH FOR 13 1/2 YEARS I THOUGHT I SHOULD POST IT. THIS 'TACTIC' IS BRUTAL, PARTICULARLY IF YOU ARE A COMMUNICATOR BY NATURE, WHICH I AM. MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT COMMUNICATORS, BUT THE SILENT TREATMENT THAT GOES ON FOR DAYS IS GOING TO AFFECT A PERSON NO MATTER WHAT WAY THEY ARE WIRED. IMO. THIS DOESN'T EVEN SCRATCH THE SURFACE OF WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY, IN FACT THIS ALMOST CONTRADICTS ITSELF BY THE TIME YOU GET PAST THE CHART TO THE DO'S AND DON'TS. I CAN TELL YOU FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT WHEN IT GETS SO BAD THAT YOUR MATE WAKES UP HATING YOU AND NOT SPEAKING TO YOU, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY... YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. JUST RUN. GET THE FUCK OUT. YOU CAN'T HELP OR MEND THESE PEOPLE. THEY WILL NOT CHANGE. THEY ARE BROKEN. IF THEY WANT TO MEND THEY WILL DO IT THEMSELVES, BUT YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. TRUST ME ON THIS. DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS PRECIOUS, WAITING ANY LONGER. 

The Silent Treatment  http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/SilentTreatment.html

Definition:

Silent Treatment - The Silent Treatment is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. 

Description:

The silent treatment is a common way of displaying contempt for another individual while avoiding confrontation about that contempt or without giving the target of the contempt an opportunity to resolve the issue or dispute. The goal is typically to invoke FOG fear, obligation or guilt - in the mind of the target individual.

Note that just being quiet or declining to have a conversation is not the same thing as the Silent Treatment. Many times, exiting a conversation is a healthy and constructive thing to do as part of a conflict resolution strategy, to exit a circular conversation, to escape verbal abuse or just to compose yourself. The SIlent Treatment is different from a time-out in the following ways:

	Time-Out	Silent Treatment
Effect	Constructive	Destructive
Duration	Time Bound	Indefinite
Non-Verbal's	Neutral or Reassuring	Contemptuous
Physical Posture	Disengaged	Engaged
Re-engagement	Mutually Agreed	Unilateral
Engagement of Third Parties	To seek self-support	To seek alliances in the argument.
Disposition	Seeks self-improvement	Seeks to improve others
Problem Focus	To find solutions	To apportion blame

Click Here for more information on Time-Out's.

Silent Treatment is a technique often used by people who suffer from personality disorders, but it is also sometimes used by non-personality-disordered individuals when they are feeling angry.

The silent treatment is a classic form of passive aggressive confrontation. The silent treatment can last from as little as a few hours to months or even years. 

Examples of The Silent Treatment:

For more than 24 hours, a mother speaks to every member of the family except one.

A husband is willing to talk to this friends on the phone but refuses to speak to his wife.

An employee openly talks to other co-workers but refuses to talk to one.

What it Feels Like:

The Silent Treatment is often designed to produce feelings of Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) in people and successful in doing so.

Coping with The Silent Treatment:

The Silent Treatment is rarely a good approach to problem solving or problem resolution. 

If you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, it may be tempting to try to prod the person out of their silence. However, this is a form of control that rarely works. It is better to accept that the person is making a poor choice in their communication, accept that they have a right to be quiet and politely remove yourself from the "conversation" and the room if possible.

If you find yourself angry at another person and tempted to use the silent treatment on them, it is better to take the approach of having a healthy, constructive "Time-Out". You can give them a verbal "I" statement and then exit the conversation until you feel more productive, e.g. "I am feeling upset and don't want to talk right now. I'll discuss this with you tomorrow." 

What NOT To Do:

Don't use the silent treatment on others. It rarely improves communication.

Don't escalate the situation or try to force a passive aggressive person who is using the silent treatment to snap out of it - you will likely turn them from passive aggressive to hostile aggressive.

Don't blame yourself for it. Silent Treatment is a poor choice of communication strategy and that is not your choice.

Don't stay in the same room or company of a person who is behaving in a passive aggressive way any longer than necessary.

Don't try to find a logical explanation for a personality-disordered person's strange behavior. IT's better to chalk it down to the mental illness and move on.

What TO Do:

If possible, turn a silent treatment into a time-out and use the time to go work on yourself.

Express your feelings using "I" statements - but only do this once. "I feel uncomfortable right now".

Exit the room or the environment so you can think more clearly without all the pressure.

Get Support from others who understand about personality disorders and can relate to what you are going through.

Remember that what the person is feeling is temporary and they will probably feel different in a few days or a few hours.

Tick Tock Tick Tock and Thank's For The Mind Fuck Subconscious or Happy Fucking 1 Year Anniversary.

Sigh.

I have just woken up after a night of subconscious mind-fucking. Or should I rephrase that as, I just woke up after being mind-fucked by my subconscious all-night? Yes, the second one is far more accurate. 

Today, or tonight rather, is the one year anniversary of the single worst night of my life. Rephrase: Somewhere around 10 pm tonight, August 31 is the official one year since it happened, it being the worst 7 hours of my life, which was really just a horrific piece of a bigger horrible life experience that I am still living as I type. But this, this 7 hours... these were the worst of the worst of life moments. This was a life-altering, soul scarring, destroy a person's will to live, kind of horrible. 

I am going to get to the dream before it disappears as they often do upon waking...

This dream had EX2 in it. EX2 and I have not had any physical or verbal contact since the day after Christmas, and I threw him out the night before New Years Eve. There has been limited texts, awesome threatening texts... and that is about it. I haven't seen his face in a dream in months; that is until last night. Supa. Not. Thanks subconscious. I was fully aware of the date. I did not need to see his face or hear his voice. I did not need to re-experience the pain, fear, disappointment and loss, not of him but his child. I loved his child and I fought for his child, and as soon as he got that kid he was ready to flee. This is a running theme in my life. "Come be with me! Let me carry you to your dreams! Let me hold your hand, carry you on my shoulders, bare the scars of your abuse and drain myself dry mentally, financially and emotionally," and at least on this occasion physically as well. "Come take everything you can and leave with your dream a reality!" Fucking circus. Fucking animals. Fucking people. Fucking 'relationships'

Anyway, Ex2 was saying something about his child somewhere, I have no idea where this place was that I happened to find myself and find him as well, but he was speaking about his child and the pain of not being with them, and for some reason I said, "You could have had me to help." or "You had me to help." Something along those lines. He came up to me and got really close, as he often did, and inside I cowered as I would do now, for sure, but not necessarily on the outside, and he touched my shoulder, almost my lips and he said "you would do that for me?", and I said, "I want to be able to... I did do that for you." And he just started to cry. Just cry. No dramatics or anything. Just tears, and possibly realization. Although, I would be smarter to assume he was crying not for loss or realization, but just for himself. There really is nothing but him in the world, and the few things he allows to visit if they bring with them the proper level of attention that he desires. You disappear when you can't maintain whatever image he has created of you and what you are expected to do for him. You are trash once he is done. Truly, you rate nothing on the human scale, or even the living scale once he is finished, and if you cross him... if you dare to cross him, or step on his toes, or try to warn others of his intentions, as I did... well, you will find yourself watching your back and carrying a weapon for quite some time. Ex2 doesn't have the backbone to do more than talk, just like Ex1, but Ex2 does know people, and he does have the gift of the narcissists verbal ability and charm. Think American Psycho and you have the last two Ex's and the past 15 years of my life with them down to a pretty decent mental example. Ex1 is more American Psycho than Ex2 but Ex2 is more capable of the physical and verbal abuse and suave outer personality. Wait, that is not coming out well. Or maybe it is...

Breathe. Sigh. For example:

Ex1 is dark and deceitful with a very scary stalker, sexual predator side to go with his obsessive physically fit outside. He is not however, charming. At least I never thought so. Charm is a smoothness that Ex1 will never acquire. In fact, Ex1 exudes this jerky, as in broken movement, kind of way about him. Nothing is smooth, ever. Sex is awkward, affection is awkward, anger is awkward, communication is awkward. It's as if EVERYTHING is struggle and it all isn't coming from anyplace genuine, but rather he is internally, frantically searching for the p.c. expectation of the other person, or the 'normal' way he is expected to react. Problem is he rarely finds it in time to react in the moment, so he is always awkward and somewhat detached.  Smart, as in book smart, and cunning enough for your typical girl, but not enough for me, or I wouldn't know about this other side, but I do, because I am a wise Bitch. Book smart only gets you so far. Wisdom reminds you to look in the corners, and under the rugs, but don't forget to look in the tampon box under the sink or in the lining of the tool bag. No, I didn't actually find what I found any of these ways... not with Ex1, although way back in the day before we had the internet, shocking, I know, I did find things about an ex not talked about here, in this manner of searching. ANYWAY... Ex1 is internally and visually American Psycho.

Ex2 has far less of the visual image from A.P. He is however, obsessive compulsive about his things, his clothes, his stuff, yet he has no class at all. None. He reeks of 1978. You know, really bad porno but the chicks all had real tits. Gold chains and shirts buttoned down way too low. Yeah... that's the image. That's Ex2 in a nutshell. He's cute. Don't get me wrong. He could even be hot at times in his past, but he was vastly overweight while with me so... yeah. Personally, I don't give a flying fuck if you look like Ex1 or Ex2 body-wise. That shit means nothing to me anymore, nor does how big or small your dick is. I don't care. WHO you are is what I care about. WHAT kind of person are you? WHEN do you do things? Or do you just talk about it? WHERE have you been and WHAT have you learned and HOW have you changed your way of thinking and being due to this knew wisdom? WHY are you here, now, with me? WHAT do you want from me. Don't say nothing. Nothing is BULLSHIT and I will call you out immediately. No one has ever not wanted something from someone else. We like to think we don't but we do. We always do. WHERE is the proof to back all your tales? This one is big and important because Ex2 had a never-ending stream of tales but nothing to prove any of it. No pictures, no paperwork or forms, only people on occasion who did not actually back him up but nod in that way that says, "anything to get you to leave me alone and not ask anymore." People who have learned how relentless the narcissist can be if you don't just do as he needs you to do at any given moment.
 He had something Ex1 will never have, and that is charm. Ex2 could charm his way through most anything, as long as it was a temporary situation. It take's no time at all, if you are a person of awareness, to see who he really is inside. You just have to observe for a short bit of time. Problem is he works fast enough to get in there while the charm is still masking the reality. And he is an online predator. He does all his work online and by phone. The first time you meet him will most likely be when he is moving in. By the time you see who he really is, he has moved in and gotten you caught up in some drama that brings in a third party that does need you, and then you are fucked. Now you are stuck between telling him to fuck off and abandoning someone who deserves to have someone fight for their safety.  I am convinced now, that the child is a pawn. He loves this child but they are ultimately his bread and butter. They are how he legitimizes himself in the beginning and how he manages to 'get in there' so fast. This is his tool. I would bet my ass that when I booted him, he stopped fighting for this child. This way he could create, once again, a scenario that would breed concern in the next woman that comes along. I'm not sure what he is going to do when this child is too old to use anymore. I suppose it will be the, "Pity me. My child hates me but it's their Mom's fault and not mine! That evil bitch turned my child against me!"  Sick. It's just sick beyond words.
And then there is his violent side. More verbal than physical although physical as well, he holds no limits when he decides to release on you. THIS is the 7 hours I spoke of. This is the 7 hours that altered me internally for life. This is the moment that I crossed the lines of suicidal thoughts on occasion to going as far as taking the blade to my inner wrist, but I couldn't do it. Not any of the 50 times or so that I so desperately wanted out. Instead I cut on the outer wrist. I have more scars from the 7 months I spent with him then I do from the entire 30 years of cutting I did before him. I'm not joking, nor am I exaggerating. Just two days ago I looked down and really absorbed that fact. Do you know what ended the abuse on that fated day that started 1 year ago minus 9 hours at the moment? I finally just released my hold on life, opened the side table drawer and took out the box cutter I had in there from my Wal-Mart employment days... and I took that bitch and started cutting myself open. It was the only thing in all that time that made this person halt in any way. He kept up with the abuse but now it was mixed with fear. It cooled him down enough to let nature take effect and bring him down from his adrenalin rush he had been riding non-stop for 7 hours. He got freaked, he got tired, he calmed down. Fucking asshole. That was the only time ever in all those years that I have ever cut with anybody around. Fucking coward.

So there you have a visual of my last two ex's. Nice right? Put these two together and you might have the ultimate weapon of mass destruction. Fuuuuuuckkkkkkk. 

I'm going away now for a few. Need coffee, to pee, and do some stuff before moving on and editing this horrible post. 

EX1 

EX2

1 and 2 in a nutshell (sexually corrupt and oblivious!)

And Ex2... it's all about the size of your dick...

Punk Dads Today... Love It. The Other F Word

The Other F Word- Punk Dads Today... Love It.

If you ever feel the need to see real parents in action take 90 minutes or so and watch The Other F Word. Make sure you stick around for the second half. This is where they get past the music and touch base with the emotions of what many punks, myself included, 'found' in the punk scene and why we needed it. It also shows how all that pain and anger equated to some of the very best in parental examples. Not everyone who came from shit parents chose to be shit parents. Far too many of my generations parents checked out and used their own upbringings as excuses for their shit. In reality, they made a fucking choice. My generation shows, in this film at least, just how many of us stayed in touch with our inner child and chose to be everything we always wished we had had, and how hard we work for our children in all aspects and why. I'm proud to be a part of this fine group and for the second time in my life, punk has proven to show me that I am not alone or the freak society makes me think I am... FUCK YEAH! PUNKS NOT DEAD!! OI!

HOW I FEEL EVERY GOTDAMN DAY

United States of Tara - Max Loses it

OR HOW I FEEL EVERY GOTDAMN DAY OF THE PAST 18 MONTHS. I LOVE THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS SCENE. KINDRED SOULS.

For Shits and Giggles- OKCupid and My Odd Profile/Journal

I have this odd comfortableness on OKCupid. I don't fully understand why, but I can go onto my profile page and just vomit everything out. I don't have any concerns with what anyone thinks and it just flows so easily. On the other hand, I can not journal to save my life. I just stare at the blank page or screen and freeze. I have a theory about OKC though. I have managed to come to one conclusion; the people I want to hear me, and the people that NEED to hear me are right there. All the fucked up narcissistic sociopaths are swimming around OKC day in and day out and 90% of my animosity, anger and emotional pain has been caused by these kinds of people, and two that have pages on OKC as well. So my target audience IS the OKC crew. Going there and letting loose is like a warm blanket on a cold ass day. I'm that comfortable writing there. So... since I blank when I attempt to blog I figure this is where I will begin. I will post my OKC profile here, so you can really grasp the crazy and the words I am forever trying to get heard. Eventually, I might start posting some of the messages I receive as well. Once you have read my profile and then read some of the messages sent to me you might have a good laugh or two, or you might get as pissed as I do at how blatantly blind people choose to be. They like my photo and they claim to read my profile yet they seem to miss the messages being said over and over and over, times infinity.

And people wonder why I think there is no one left to trust or any reason to bother investing in a mate anymore. It's because of this. This chosen blindness. This chosen need to put on a mask and basically expect me to put one on too so they feel like they aren't the fucked up people that they actually are... that we all are. I say wear your flaws openly. Stop trying to be anyone else. Be you. Be ugly, rude, hateful, kind, compassionate, freaky-dinky. Just be proud to be what and who you are. People will come eventually. YOUR people will come and  you won't have to take anymore shit from people trying to change you anymore. I can respect an asshole who doesn't pretend to be a nice person. I might not choose to hang out with you, but I can respect you. So anyway, here it is. Me in a nutshell. All broken, angry and shit. Raw. Very raw.

My self-summary
"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."
George Eliot
WORD.

Yeah, laughing is what stands between death and survival.
(I think I am going to have this tattooed on me next!)

I need a mechanic, or a free car. I'll wish for a mechanic though. The car thing seems to be WAY out of my reach. In reality 70% of the people I know are mechanics yet not a one is willing to throw me a damn bone and come help with this friggin' car that I already know needs to be put out to pasture, but my kid needs to get to work and I am far too broke to afford labor fees or anything else. I may never get over my hate for 'that person' who pushed me to sell my totally reliable car or myself for doing it, or at least not buying something else immediately after, rather than waiting too long and having to buy a clunker. Of course 'that person' told me to buy it and told me he would work on it etc. etc. but never even popped the hood in the continuing 5 months I supported his ass. And you wonder why I don't believe in love anymore, or have any faith that anyone will ever live up to their word. IT'S BECAUSE THEY NEVER DO. EVER. Even my Mom, or both my parents for that matter. Blah blah blah, "Oh did I say that? No. No, I didn't." Because if they admitted they said yadda yadda yadda they would have to admit they are all full of shit. The world is overflowing with people that are full of shit. You know how I know this? I'm like a shit magnet. I hit 18 years old and all I attract is shit... Some shit is less horrible than others, but ultimately, all shit. Even here 90% of what comes in is total bullshit and the rest is ignorant of the fact that I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I will be a friend but I WILL NOT DATE YOU. I WILL NOT SUDDENLY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. Period. How many people are going to hear this from me and act like they get it but then not get it? Some nice people too but for whatever reason they all want more and here is a bit of advice men... if a woman's life is shit, and she is openly admitting it's shittyness and not hiding any of it, you might want to NOT be attracted to that. Why can't I just have a few friends? You can't save me. My life is too far gone for that Son. If you want to lend me money or a car you can help me out but you can't save me from the atrocity that has become my life, and I don't want you too. I want a helping hand not a savior. I want to get up and dust myself off all by myself but at this point my ego is broken enough to realize this isn't gonna happen. I may be forever belittling myself by asking for help but at this point I have very little pride left. I just want to move forward. I just want to breathe a bit and maybe have a few good days in between the shit storms. And I want one single person to be real, truthful and caring. One person. Just one is all I need. One is the loneliest number though....

I am discovering that all my high percentile matches are either Aries/computer people or Pisces/computer people... ixnay on the Pisces... sorry, but it has been proven that me and a Pisces are NOT capable of interaction on any level. None. What's up with the computer thing though? Must be a brain processing issue. Hmmm. Something to ponder.

Since I get the "why do you have an OKC account if you don't want to date/hook-up etc." question on a regular basis, here is the answer: I have had this account for 8 or 9 years from back in the Myspace days, before Facebook won the social network wars. Back then the only place to access surveys and fun things like that was here, but you were required to open an account to access them (This included when you were in Myspace and doing a survey someone else posted. To get your 'result' it would send you here.) So... that is the how and why of my OKC account. Now it is to keep in touch with a handful of friends that have gotten lost in Facebook's non-stop unwanted restructuring that has made seeing anything by people you actually want to interact with near impossible.

Friends... just looking for friends.... nothing else. Life's difficult enough ya know? This relationship thing is just beyond me at this point. Isn't it suppose to be a level give and take most of the time? I've decided that I have had enough of men for 3 or 4 lifetimes. Never take me as stupid. I see a lot, but I will wait until I have proof to back my shit up and to make my move. People have always underestimated me. That's the wrong move Son. My kindness should never be taken as stupidity. Yes, I made a bad choice and trusted the wrong person/people. You can only face your reality to move forward. To ignore your reality is to guarantee a life of pain, failure and loneliness.

Jake: I think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause that's the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place. <<<< Exactly.

I'm just realizing that love is not enough and it makes me sad.
Hope doesn't cut it either. No wonder there are so many bitter people in the world. Doesn't anyone know how a relationship works?????

I wish I was at Hogwarts. Seriously. I really mean this. It isn't here to be cute. I am not cute. I'm unique.

My 'kids' are adults. 21 and 25, and they will always be my babies, and the most important people in my life. Hands down. No man, woman, deity or beast will ever take that top place in my heart or my life...
What I’m doing with my life
Changing my hair color. Platinum blonde at the moment... meh. Not even worth taking a photo since it will probably be something different within the month. I am so ready to be not here anymore and wake up in a new place. My hair might get a break once my life is in my control again. Maybe. I bore myself so I try to change that on occasion.

What I'm Doing With My Life
Trying to move it all along.
Consuming BBC TV like it's oxygen... The Fades! Brilliant. Gavin and Stacey, Tidy!

(Grosse Point Blank has some of the BEST things to quote. IMO.)
Debi: You know what you need?
Marty: What?
Debi: Shakabuku.
Marty: You wanna tell me what that means?
Debi: It's a swift, spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever.
Marty: Oh, that'd be good. I think.

I'm Really Good At
Being me.....

Adapting.

Pretending I am OK. Pretending I am a hard ass. Pretending that you can't hurt me....

Finding the shit you don't want me to know about. It's like some sick force that keeps on bringing out what I have had enough viewing of as it is... I do not need to see just how sick the people I have loved actually are. I have become aware of enough. The universe must stop revealing these things to me about people I am not physically and emotionally 'with' anymore. Let the new chicks in their lives discover their dark sides. I don't want nor need to see anymore. This just makes it more difficult to trust ANYONE ever again. Enough already. Plus, it makes me feel like shit that these new woman may not know what ugliness lies beneath these men's outward appearances. Which makes me feel guilty for not telling them, and I am sick and tired of worrying about people I don't even like or who are too stupid to bother looking into who the hell they are exposing their children to. Gawd. It is all so disheartening.

The First Things People Usually Notice About Me
That's a question better answered by the people meeting me.
You love me or you don't. You appreciate my truthfulness or you don't. You accept my kindness as real or you wait for me to fuck up. I am kind though. Far too kind.

Debi: You're a fucking *psycho*.
Marty: Don't rush to judgment on something like that until all the facts are in.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Gunslinger (If you haven't read it then damn it... DO IT!) Harry Potter... all of them. I read Bird by Bird (Some Instructions on Writing and Life). It's worth every minute of reading. I am re-reading Stephen King's On Writing because damn it if that man hasn't had an interesting life.

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music and Food
Movies: Field Of Dreams. Possibly one of the greatest movies ever. Green Street Hooligans!!! John Cusack. The Piv. I am a movie addict. I cross all the lines in the genre department. I prefer to get a good laugh though and feel a connection to the characters. Spanglish is on my top 100 list. I really dig watching series too. Soprano's, Roseanne, Dead Like Me, Weeds, Dexter, True Blood, Being Human (BBC version. I LOVE BBC TV) etc.

Food: I like food. I hate food. I LOVE to feed people though. It makes me all warm and fuzzy!
Sushi and basic Japanese food rock my socks too.
I make the most amazing sandwiches.... I do. I swear. Ask anyone who's had one!!!

I seem to have lost my music here in OKC profile hell. I suppose this is a sign that my page is too full, but I can't win the 'Longest Profile Page' award if I delete anything, so here is a very short list: Modest Mouse, Pinback which has since been ruined by my ex's need to play them for his new chick far too often and that really pisses me off too. Old punk, old Police, hell most 80's music, Black Tide, Rebelution, Iration, Redbone, Bad Religion (#1 Fav), The Cramps, Postal Service, uh, crap, I should open my Spotify... AWOLNATION (LOVE), Macklemore (I'm gonna pop some tags...), older Ben Harper, Interpol, old G- Love and Special Sauce, and Alien Ant Farm. Hopefully this short list is versatile enough to get the point across. I like a lot of music from a lot of different sides of the music realm.

The Six Things I Could Never Do Without
1. My kids
2. Books. Many many books.
3. Music- Old Punk, 80's (being a child/Teen of that time), Iration, Rebelution, Black Tide, old Police etc.
4. Skin care stuff. I am obsessive about my skin.
5. Friends, although I have been doing without any face-to-face friends for a long time now, and it is killing me.
6. I am rediscovering art. I've missed it, so now I am trying to reconnect.

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About
The struggle. Moving forward instead of being in limbo. Far easier to think than do.
Time and how fast it goes by and leaves us reeling in the aftermath of what we were too busy to notice...
Such as the time to give. I am not a quitter by nature, and it seems to be the bane of my existence.

...Why I think I will ever find someone with the will to move forward rather than sit in the same spot or live in the past. The past is fine to visit but the NOW is what the focus should be on, as the later will come either way...

Sheep. I spend a hell of a lot of time trying to see what the attraction is to being a sheep. It pains me to see this everywhere. It pains me to get bitched at by people on OKC about how I am not fitting into their idea of what a person on here should be. I don't want to be you, or her, or them. I CHOOSE ME. I'm special in a way most of you will never get to know because I see through you and I can't respect you although I can accept your choices as long as they don't touch me. I can respect you for being you but not for being anyone else. It's the one gift we all get. The choice to be ourselves. Why so many choose to be the status quo is beyond me but if it actually makes you happy, which is rare in my experience, than you go Boy or Girl or You. I can respect it if it is true and it makes you happy all the way through. I always prefer the company of an asshole who knows and accepts that this is who they are than a 'nice' person who is faking it. Why? Why bother? Just be real. You will find your people if you just stop wearing your masks or following the herd.

"To hold on to sanity too tight is insane. "
Pushing Tin

On A Typical Friday Night I Am
Doing homework.
Watching netflix streaming. I am so out of good options. Even Korean soaps aren't cutting it anymore. Sigh...
Trying to tap into my creative side again. Dreaming of drawing, painting, sculpting and a plethora of other things I really wish I could afford to pursue.
Trying to ignore the fact that it is just another day- SSDD. Did I really once get excited for the weekend? I did. I remember it; barely.

The Most Private Thing I Am Willing to Admit
I'm a bit self-righteous. I work hard to be a decent person and I believe anyone who wants any kind of interaction with other persons ( that is a positive interaction) should also be willing to work hard for it... so, if you walk all over people or treat them like trash and piss and whine about it then I really have no sympathy for you. If you work hard for those relationships and piss and whine, then I can give you all the support you need for as long as it takes. Yep, I am self-righteous, but it is because in most cases you can be better and do a hell of alot more. Life is one long work of art. Real art is made from blood, sweat and tears, and so life is too. So suck it if my belief that you can do and be more scares you or pisses you off.

I screw up... often. If I can lower my pride and admit my faults and if it can't be forgiven then I suppose I don't need people like that in my life. I'm big on forgiveness. It's truly one of the hardest things to give another person. It's also hard to find people that can give that back. Life is strange.
This trait sucks. It's gets you a lot of wasted time. It makes you question yourself. I don't like that. I prefer not to question myself but I seem to do it often.
I was homeless for 3 years right out of high school. Real homeless. Hungry, cold, no where to go homeless. Think Suburbia. Penelope Spheeris version. I could relate to that movie in ways you can't imagine. I even knew a few of the 'actors'. You may notice Flea, from The Red Hot Chili Peppers in it; he was Rat Boy to us back in those days. Him and that damn rat.
I've experienced my first true deep dark depression this last year. It's a scary place and I wish it upon no one.

UPDATE: I almost feel for a guy. Someone I have 'known' online for many many years. He hurt me. Indifference and words with zero actions or promises with zero actions are not being kind to a person. BE REAL IN ALL YOUR FAULTS AND GLORIES. BE ACCEPTED FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE. It's the only possible way to ever truly have a shot at a happy relationship. WORD.

Is that all private enough for you?

I’m Looking For
Everybody
Ages 35–47
Located anywhere
Who are single
For new friends, long-distance penpals

You Should Message Me If
UPDATE: Still not a potential mate, as I have zero faith in love at this point. Love your kids and be well. That's my advice for you.
If you are a Gym Rat then PLEASE, I beg of you... pass on by. I am not interested. Being fit is fine, but I would rather have a fat happy guy than a fit sociopath any day, and there seems to be a connection with people obsessed with one particular thing and neuroticism. Be it the gym or YoVille... there is a connection and I have no desire to get near that EVER again. I have had far too many Neurotics in my life in the last couple decades, thank you very much.
Thomas suggests that narcissists typically display most, and sometimes all, of the following traits:

• An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
• Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
• A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
• Difficulty with empathy
• Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
• Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
• Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
• Haughty body language
• Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
• Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
• Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
• Pretending to be more important than they really are
• Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
• Claiming to be an "expert" at many things
• Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
• Denial of remorse and gratitude

DON'T IM me saying I'm sexy, you want to meet me in person, you want to make out with me or any other ridiculous thing that you might say to a potential mate... I AM NOT A POTENTIAL MATE. If I ever am I will make it known. If you're in the mood to fight or just ruffle someones feathers I can hold my own but will most likely just not bother to waste the energy. Well, that is unless the subject interests me.

And BTW... Just a little advice from a Woman to a Man....
You ready??????? You sure? Mkay.....
STOP USING PICTURES OF YOURSELF WITH SUNGLASSES ON AS YOUR PROFILE PIC. Period. Got that?
You don't look sexy, you look like you are hiding something. You look like you don't have any confidence in yourself. You look CREEPY.

Update: I am adding here for me personally, those damn shots of you nekkid, baring your abs, flexing, hanging out with cheerleaders or Hooters girls, laying in your bed, or looking stern... they make my skin crawl. If you find a woman that thinks any of these things makes you more of a man than you deserve her and all the shit she is going to bring you. True story. Same with the woman. If you are choosing your chicks based on various shots of tits, ass, abs etcetera, then yeah, you get what you choose there Boys. This being a woman lacking inner strength or a broken soul. A narcissist. A little girl with Daddy issues. Have fun with that; not a ride anyone will enjoy in the end. Trust me on this one too!

I don't trust a woman with no eyebrows or a man who won't take his sunglasses off and I never gamble next to an Asian older woman. The men are lucky... the woman suck you dry. I assume that they are literally consuming all the luck you may have had before they sat down next to you. It's weird. I wonder how they do that. Really wish I knew how to do that myself....

So anyway, back to my point.... "The eyes are the windows to the soul...." So stop that sunglasses thing guys!

Meh. I probably won't reply either way so don't take it personal. You should see me try to interact in person.... it's really just painful.

You're John Cusack....
You're Michael Socha (Being Human BBC. I LOVE BBC)

I think when you get to the point where you don't need to be in love, then you could be in love. You have to just be OK with yourself-and that's a long process. < WORD!!!
John Cusack