'...the unshakable feeling that she isn’t good enough to warrant consideration' - this is what I would like to rid myself of but instead it gets clearer and clearer otherwise.
Only people who can strike fear in other people get consideration. I am beginning to see that.
The unanswered question of 'Why do they matter and I don't," is now becoming clearly visible to me.
Fear.
Those with the greatest capacity to spread fear are the most recognized. They are the most considered. They are the blessed. The abusive parent. The abusive mates. They get what they want. They rarely starve or live being controlled by others for too long. They find ways to twist and turn and destroy so that they stay in the light of consideration by the fear they create with their words and fists and other actions.
Our entire political structure shows how those in this position are awarded vs. those who need the most but have nothing to use to invoke fear anymore.
Another good example of this is blackmail. A person with no power or ability to invoke pain or fear finds themselves privy to information that will create what they lack, intimidation and fear. When used they find that they usually get what they have been needing. When they don't, they get nothing. Nothing changes except what they now know.
Manipulation is created by using fear to twist anothers will to ones liking. It is the more silent and widespread form of the dance between the 'worthy' or seen and the 'unworthy' or unseen. The silent treatment, the shaming words, the martyr words, the manipulative 'you would if you cared or loved me...' the physical abuses, the secrets kept but not so well that the other isn't aware that something is going on. It's all actually a pretty intricate dance if you disconnect enough to be capable of going back and really looking, digging, patterning, deciphering, etc.....opening your eyes to the footsteps of deceit can be quite overwhelming and humbling as well. Although, there is often a great difference between the worth of lessons learned vs. the worth of the wisdom acquired.
Physical fear, emotional fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of physical pain.
Fear of emotional pain.
Fear of detachment.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of change.
(Not really relevant to the above passage)
A good way to gauge this is to take a giver such as myself and make it impossible for them to give anymore. The takers keep coming but they begin to fizz out when they realize that you really can't do anything for them anymore (1) and they don't give a damn about what you might need either, no matter the depths of your own despair. (2) These people, the real low of the low will continue to 'check-in' usually when intoxicated, to see if you are still incapable of helping them. When you show you still can't they disappear again.
Only people who can strike fear in other people get consideration. I am beginning to see that.
The unanswered question of 'Why do they matter and I don't," is now becoming clearly visible to me.
Fear.
Those with the greatest capacity to spread fear are the most recognized. They are the most considered. They are the blessed. The abusive parent. The abusive mates. They get what they want. They rarely starve or live being controlled by others for too long. They find ways to twist and turn and destroy so that they stay in the light of consideration by the fear they create with their words and fists and other actions.
Our entire political structure shows how those in this position are awarded vs. those who need the most but have nothing to use to invoke fear anymore.
Another good example of this is blackmail. A person with no power or ability to invoke pain or fear finds themselves privy to information that will create what they lack, intimidation and fear. When used they find that they usually get what they have been needing. When they don't, they get nothing. Nothing changes except what they now know.
Manipulation is created by using fear to twist anothers will to ones liking. It is the more silent and widespread form of the dance between the 'worthy' or seen and the 'unworthy' or unseen. The silent treatment, the shaming words, the martyr words, the manipulative 'you would if you cared or loved me...' the physical abuses, the secrets kept but not so well that the other isn't aware that something is going on. It's all actually a pretty intricate dance if you disconnect enough to be capable of going back and really looking, digging, patterning, deciphering, etc.....opening your eyes to the footsteps of deceit can be quite overwhelming and humbling as well. Although, there is often a great difference between the worth of lessons learned vs. the worth of the wisdom acquired.
Physical fear, emotional fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of physical pain.
Fear of emotional pain.
Fear of detachment.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of change.
(Not really relevant to the above passage)
A good way to gauge this is to take a giver such as myself and make it impossible for them to give anymore. The takers keep coming but they begin to fizz out when they realize that you really can't do anything for them anymore (1) and they don't give a damn about what you might need either, no matter the depths of your own despair. (2) These people, the real low of the low will continue to 'check-in' usually when intoxicated, to see if you are still incapable of helping them. When you show you still can't they disappear again.
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