What Do They See?

I wish daily that what I feel emotionally and physically (chronic pain) was visible. I think I would rather walk around looking scary but being understood and cared for than having no one give a shit because I 'look fine' on the outside. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I cut is to create SOMETHING that can be seen. What I have figured out though is that with all the damage I have done to my left arm not a single person has EVER acknowledged it, including doctors. It's rather mind boggling. I can't figure out if I am really THAT irrelevant or if the entire world is actually that lacking in the thing that makes me reach out to those in need, whatever that is in me.  (This was a FB comment I made and realized how deeply I meant it, so I had to share it here. No idea what the point is but I am compelled to do it.)