Bizarre Defects

I must truly be defective because no matter how poorly I am treated I continue to be concerned with these peoples we being. How fucked up is that? Two of the people who hurt me terribly have a birthday in about a week. Actually, the same damn day, go figure. Why do I remember this fact? Why do I care? Why am I compelled to wish one or both a Happy Birthday? Neither of these people would be able to even tell anyone what my birthday is yet I remember theirs. Stupid girl and stupid brain. I really need this space for useful information like Algebra and crap. Anyway, almost all the cruelest people from my life have birthdays in the next month. Try and tell me a persons sign doesn't mean shit and I will point you to the fact that literally almost all my abusers have been Pisces. Oddly, the rest have been fire signs like myself although none have been Aries like me. Leo's and Sag's but no Aries. However, most Aries people I know have been women and they haven't been the best of Aries by any means. 
So, anyway, I wish I could erase these people from my brains map so I wouldn't so foolishly continue to think and have concern for them anymore. This is my point about love. Real love, not the bullshit people think is love nowadays. Once you truly love someone they never fully depart from you. You always love them on some level. You always feel what wasn't tarnished or destroyed. You don't just fully hate a person in a moment. Not someone you actually found a reason to love deeply. That shit just doesn't disappear one day. It stays and haunts you and lingers like stale cigarettes and cat piss in carpet.