It's times like this, moments like this, that a person should have people in their lives that give a shit. Moments when you become so overwhelmed, so scared that you just freeze. You stop moving, breathing, functioning and this is when those people come in and push you back into action. I don't have those people. In fact, I have people who act like children and do stupid shit like call my phone and leave dumb fucking messages that at this moment in my life, cut right to the bone since these message reference the very place in my body that might be killing me... Bravo Asshole. Thanks for this mornings wake-up call and immediately reminding me that I might be really fucking sick. Thanks for waking me from my drug induced sleep because I can't fall asleep with this fear taking over my mind. Thank you for once again, being the cold-hearted prick I feared you might turn out to be in the beginning. Thanks for being just another asshole in my life. If I do have this and I do die from it... you will be on my list of people to fuck with. Paybacks a bitch. Lucky for you I can't move as I am frozen in place at the moment, trying to will myself to go take care of my business. Find out WTF is happening to me. Trying to imagine how I will handle bad news alone or if I even want to know under the circumstances... God, the world can be really fucking lonely sometimes.
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